life, liberty, and the pursuit of narnia

the college blues

2011-12-22T00:12:00.000-05:00

Well, the bad news is that I didn't get into NYU.

The good news is that with every failure, every disappointment, every heartbreak, I am one step closer to knowing where I'm supposed to be.

Yeah, I know, I haven't really posted in a while. I think it's the information overload. I kinda lost sight of the purpose of this blog, which is that it's for me. What I wanna write, not what I want people to read. But once people started finding out about it, I felt I had to censor myself.

I won't anymore, though. I still welcome people to read my thoughts, but I won't not say stuff just because of who might be reading. Sorry.

I need this, I think. The more I write, the more I think, the more I realize how unbalanced my life is. I'm so worried about stuff. Little stuff, big stuff, it doesn't matter. I need a change. I need to be renewed. I really want to run to God but it seems unusually awkward.

What does the future have for me?

I don't know. But I feel like it's okay. I think I'm starting to trust God again. It's not up to me, and that's fine.

Doesn't make sense

2011-09-03T14:15:00.002-04:00

While working as a food runner in charge of getting the customers their orders, I soaked in much information, not only about the restaurant business, but also about (and more importantly) people. I learned that people can be impatient, that they can be cruel. I learned that people can be genial, that they can be understanding. I learned that when people get mad, they don't necessarily know what to be mad at, so they lash at the nearest embodiment of their source of discomfort.

In all, it was a humbling experience. It taught me, among other things, that I’m not the center of the universe, and that sometimes, there’s so much going on behind the scenes that I don’t understand. So many times I was yelled at by an angry customer, when I had no control over how backed up the kitchen was or how slowly the drink station was being run. I was yelled at by managers who ruled from an ivory tower, who didn’t understand that it wasn’t necessarily my fault if someone stole a pair of 3D glasses.

But, most importantly, I learned that things don’t always make sense. I learned that the world isn’t black or white, but rather, some shade in between. I learned that, in spite of my work ethic and the fact that I volunteered to work Thanksgiving Day, Christmas Day, and New Year’s Day, I wasn’t seen as a model worker, but a mediocre kid with a misguided sense of economy. I came to accept that, even though I was the only worker to willingly unclog the ungodly mess that backed up the toilets with my hand, and one of the few workers that actually scheduled off two weeks in advance (and was still called in to work), the managers never saw me as anything but another, lowly, minimum-wage brat.

But the important thing isn’t that I had a terrible first job experience. The important thing is that I grew, and I came to understand a lot of things. I came to know that when people are simply doing their jobs, there is no shade in between black and white. It didn’t matter that I couldn’t control customers stealing 3D glasses; it was the managers’ job to yell at me for the loss of inventory, and it was my job to do the impossible. And sometimes, no matter how hard you work, you’re just not at the right place at the right time. Sometimes, you just have to realize that life doesn’t make sense, and you have to adapt and keep living.

take heart

2011-08-29T22:00:00.000-04:00

If there's one verse that has really characterized my life, it's John 16:33, also known as the "take heart" verse.

Yes, I'm fully aware the the "take heart" verse is usually reserved for the poor and homeless and the people who really don't have anything except God (so really they have... everything?), and I recognize the fact that my life doesn't suck as bad as it could, but the idea that God has been there has just been popping up these past few days.

Truth is, I don't really deserve everything I have. I don't deserve my blessings, and I think I deserve much worse obstacles and tribulations, but regardless, I know that God has been there the whole time, having put me in a place that fit his will, and preparing me day after day to become closer to the image of him that we should all strive to be.

And in all that preparing, life will suck. Life will hand you all of its crap on a silver platter, and it will expect you to eat it oh so graciously. But firsthand experience tells me that even when you're being run out of your country by psycho Marxists; even when all doors seem to close on you, God is there. He is with you, feeling your pain and loving you every step of the way.

And just like the people of Israel walking through the desert, you have a choice to make: you can choose to see God's providence in even the worst of times, or you can choose to ignore him and try and blaze your own trail. You have absolute control over your choices, but, should you choose the latter, I say, "Good luck."

don't kill the harvestmen

2011-07-22T17:00:00.000-04:00

Harvestmen, also known as Daddy Longlegs, are those creepy bugs we see all around the house, crawling all over the walls, supposedly with the most potent venom in the world: a useless weapon due to the nature of their wimpy teeth. To our human eyes, they're spiders, and if we don't kill them, they'll just crawl somewhere and spin a web and wait for us to walk into it so they can lay their eggs in our skin. After all, they're bugs, they have eight legs, so they must be spiders.

False. Actually, upon closer inspection, we'll notice that these little guys aren't spiders at all, but a species all to their own. And everything that we think to be true about harvestmen is a lie. They have no venom glands, they don't secrete silk (so they don't make webs), and they don't even pose a threat to us of any kind! In fact, most harvestmen don't even hunt for their food, so in reality, they don't even pose a threat to anybody.

Hm. Draw your own conclusions.

A million creation stories

2011-07-14T14:46:00.001-04:00

The people of Nicaragua play a game in which a chicken is released on a track, and two horsemen race to grab the chicken and rip off its head. The winner gets 5000 cordobas and, as my driver, Jimmy, told me, a hot bowl of chicken broth that night. That, there, is the type of thing that you'll see when you're driving down the Nicaraguan version of an interstate highway. On either side there is vibrant life, and the word "shantytown" can't do it justice because it seems like the whole country is made of sheet metal and wooden scraps. Maybe you'll see the men peeing freely, and you'll definitely notice the incessant honking and the cattle drivers walking from nowhere to nowhere.

But beyond the chaos you'll look out and you'll see the mountains and you'll realize that you're not coming to bring God to the people of Nicaragua. Sometimes, what you'll notice is that, if anything, these people are bringing more of God to you. No, instead, what you're bringing to the people of Nicaragua is yourself: a heart willing to work and a smile willing to shine. They're wary of you, but once they see that you're not there out of pity but out of love, they'll love you, and they'll invite you into their home (which is probably about the size of your living room), and they'll treat you like royalty.

That they're so receptive to love is something that amazes me. And yet, there's a bittersweet tinge to this realization, as I ask myself: what happened to us? What happened to America? Why are we so reluctant to return the affections of strangers, and why are we so reluctant to give it? Maybe we're too caught up in our iPads to realize that the people with whom we're brushing shoulders aren't just other people living their lives the way we live ours. We forget that behind every blank stare, every layer of makeup, every J Crew vest and cardigan, and behind every Ray Bans or Oakleys there's a story. There's a miniature creation story that's still happening, and we have millions of opportunities to be actively involved in millions of creations stories, but we're so caught up in our sweet nothings that we don't realize that.

For the people of Nicaragua, that is unforgivable. Riding on the back of a rickety pickup truck, we make fifty stops so that Jimmy can say hi or wave to his neighbors, his people, his family. They wave back, and then they wave at us, knowing that although we live a world apart, we, too, are walking creation stories, and they have an opportunity to be a character in them. When you talk to them, you realize just how much you take time for granted. The efficiency with which we've learned to treat time is nothing but a distraction, ironically, because those small distractions, those five minutes of tardiness, those are the real moments. Those are the moments with worth, when you look at a person, and you see more than just another person.

Then you return to America and you start missing it. Everything has a due date, a deadline. Those small distractions are inconvenient, and you lose sight of the million creation stories walking beside you day after day. Suddenly, the only story you care to hear is the one stamped on your watch, and you're back home.

It is finished

2011-07-13T10:56:00.000-04:00

I am so small. I am so weak. I am so quick to cave in. Even those things that are despicable that I revile I must have because of my weakness. My mind knows that there is something so much greater out there than this patch of filth in which I've learned to make my home, but my heart is blackened by the simple delights that spoon feed it.

It's a hole; a deep, deep hole. We all know it. We've all been in this hole of despair, surrounded by darkness so tangible as it caresses your limp body. There's a light somewhere near the top, somewhere heaven-bound where angels sing and the clouds open up and the king sits at his throne of glory and grace. His booming voice calls for me, saddened by my pitiful condition.

I can't look away, although I am so very tempted to. I can't look away from the light, because I know that when I do, first I'll be lost, and then I won't be able to look at it again because it will hurt my eyes so much and I'm so very weak.

His voice is like thunder. It seeks me, it longs to be with me, and I with it. But even when these bonds of darkness are broken, I run back to those chains that enslave me because that's all I know and I'm afraid to leave this mess of a home. His gaze sees me, I know it. He weeps, his tears drops of grace falling from the heavens. His sobs cause the earth to tremble, the rocks crying out in anguish.

He longs to be with me and I with him, but I'm so afraid that I'll fall back in the hole, so I stay at the bottom. It's a slow fade. The victory is won, but I must embrace it. I must embrace the calls of his splendid armies. I must embrace the yells of a thousand redeemed souls. I must join the ranks of those willing to fight and to never give up.

The clouds part and there he is. His great hand like a mountain, reaching out to me, descending with me into the darkness, only to fetch me. I hold on. As we ascend I see all around me that same hand ascending from a thousand other holes, with a thousand other bodies now transformed, their limp anguish now covered in crimson armor.

The hand of the risen king, the one who descended into darkness to fish me out, to fish them out, now approaches the highest reaches of heaven. There is a gate, and with glorious rays of light the gate opens.

It is finished.

in loving memory

2011-06-01T11:19:00.003-04:00

It was during the last days of my Freshman year in high school that my grandfather died.

I remember we'd all seen it coming; we had gathered at the small church in the back of my aunt's beauty shop that Saturday night, our family pacing back and forth in the small reception area. I was with my cousin, sitting in front of the large, crystalline window, watching the ebb and flow of time represented by the cruising of cars, each one a reminder that the world would continue turning whether or not my grandfather died that night. The night might have been hot or cold; the pages of exactitude have slowly been eaten away by the years that have passed.

First there was a sob, and then my uncle emerged from the church amidst the sound of heartfelt worship music, telephone at his side. He hung up and clutched my cousin tightly, holding on as though he too was dying and the time for love would soon be over.

"Abuelito just died," he said.

It didn't hit me like a ton of bricks. It didn't feel like I'd been dunked in a tank of icy water. No tears emerged from my eyes. I didn't sob; I didn't shake. But that was it. Almost instantly all emotion was sucked out of my body like the news had some sort of gravitational pull to human bonds and emotions. I was numb; I couldn't make anything of what I'd just heard. Perhaps there was some relief somewhere deep inside of me. Perhaps I was glad that he'd finally died after the immense pain he'd suffered in the last twenty-four hours.

But for some reason, the fact that the man who'd held the family together, who'd set an example of life and love, who'd comforted the weary in spite of his own pain... the fact that this man was dead was a reason for me to feel nothing. It was a reason for me to forget how to react, at least for a while, to the mundane nuances of daily living.

In Colombia he was relatively well known. He didn't live in a nice neighborhood, but he had attained the highest acclaim of those around him. He never won any medals, but his life was a testament of the triumph of love over adversity. The story of this man's life was an adventure unto itself. He had been a game hunter in the jungle, a champion fisherman, a self-taught dentist, a proficient rancher, and a home-made electrician. He loved stories. He loved to tell them, and he loved to live them.

I remember that, despite the fact that I hadn't seen him for five years when he died, his memory was vivid in my mind, and through the phone conversations that we had I could always picture his jovial face laughing at the ridiculous details of life.

It was a warm, sticky Colombian afternoon. My grandfather and I had gone out for one of our walks; his large, warm hand grasping mine. After some light conversations with neighbors, we'd made it downstairs to the old commons: a large, beautiful garden in the middle of the Edificio Venezolano apartment building. A cracked sidewalk lined the sides of the garden, the ruddy-painted concrete in stark contrast with the dark mulch. I reached out and felt the cool, thin blades of the palm trees and the soft, velvety petals of the poppies that lived there in abundance.

We made our way to the back of the building. Somewhere between the soccer fields and the old parish there was what could've been a cobblestone walkway. Stone benches lined the trail, watched over by the nurturing shade of the ancient mango trees that grew there. I released myself from my grandfather's grip, running toward the old trees, my constant playmates during those days of solitude. Gleefully, I hugged the wooden behemoth, attempting to climb its cool, damp side, my arms unable to wrap around its circumference.

Behind me, my grandfather had sat down on one of the old benches, his trusty cane sitting atop his crossed chicken legs. A smile had crept up on his wizened face as his curly tufts of silver hair caught a carelessly floating leaf. Frustrated with my failure to conquer nature, I ran to him, quickly leaping atop the old bench.

He might've been telling me a story, as he often did. I might've been listening intently to the story about how he nearly died in 1956, or how he had packed the wrong gun on one of his hunting trips. Maybe he was telling me a story of his own fabrication; the one about the seven-colored horse was his personal favorite and, de facto, mine as well.

My small eyes might have widened; my small mouth might have bursted out in laughter as he recalled the farces of his reckless days.

Suddenly, he bent down and picked up one of the fat, ripe mangoes that had fallen from the trees above. He drew his knife and began peeling the fruit, asking, "Have you ever had a wild mango?"

I shook my head.

"Then you haven't had a real mango." He handed me the fruit and I struggled to cradle it in my small hands. Eagerly, I bit into the yellow, fleshy fibers as the cool juice exploded onto my face.

His eyes said something to me that day. Nearly ten years later I can hear it as I stand in the grocery store, looking at the crates of greenish mangoes. I can hear it saying, "Do you remember the taste of real mangoes?" I can hear it as I bite into these mass-produced tumors, thinking, "These aren't real magoes."

The yellow juice is no longer cool or refreshing, but gooey and inconvenient. Regardless, I remember the voice of my grandfather, and I remember that fateful Colombian evening, and I think to myself: "One day. One day I'll be in heaven too, and I'll eat real mangoes with you."

1919-2009
Edelberto Gil, in loving memory

one life

2011-05-19T21:18:00.001-04:00

One step

One step is all it takes

And you're plunged into eternity.

Every breath

Every breath you take

Is a reminder of your mortality.

Each choice

Each choice you make

And you're taken from reality.

One life

One life is at stake

Before you reach finality.

the highest acclaim

2011-05-18T22:27:00.004-04:00

JAMIE MILLER

2011-04-09T12:51:00.000-04:00

I met this kid at the beach. Actually I already knew him. His name is Jamie Miller, but don't spell it Jaime. We're basically the same person. He asked me to blog about him. So here you go, Jamie. A blog post.

Spring break

2011-04-07T12:50:00.000-04:00

Taking a step back makes you think. I've been listening to a lot of techno, thinking a lot about life, love, and the pursuit thereof. It's really interesting, watching people. People from all walks of life meshing in a mosaic of chaos and excitement.
It's so strange, knowing that there are people out there who don't even know you exist; who live life the way you do, parallel to you. It makes me feel so small, so insignificant. But I'm not, am I?
Still, even out here, I can't help but being attached to home. Regardless of all the distractions, I know that when I go back home there will be something--someone waiting for me, arms wide open, happy to see me. No longer a stranger; no longer just another anonymous face.
Anyway, that's me right now. Weird, right?

Daniel.

Help me stay on my search

2011-03-28T21:52:00.001-04:00

How can I approach the LORD when everything inside of me fights to stay in the darkness?

But help me stay away from all the bonds of the earth, help me stay on my search, help me stay on my search for you.

it is those days that i miss

2011-03-28T21:44:00.000-04:00

IT IS THOSE DAYS THAT i MISS
WHEN THE BAD WAS BAD AND GOOD WAS GOOD
WHEN BLACK AND WHITE CLASHED
BUT NEVER COMBINED.

IT IS THOSE DAYS THAT i MISS
WHEN i COULD SAY YES OR NO
WITHOUT BEING JUDGED
FOR NOT HAVING SAID 'MAYBE'

IN THOSE DAYS i COULD TELL
THE RIGHT FROM WRONG
WITHOUT BEING WRONG.

BUT ALL OF A SUDDEN right IS WRONG
AND WRONG IS ONLY AN ILLUSION.

by Daniel Davalos

Thoughts

2011-03-20T19:40:00.000-04:00

"Remember who you are and whose you are."
I love that. I know it's really cheesy, and everyone at church cringes when Justin says it, but I actually really like it.

Sometimes, when I'm texting, I word things so they'll sound as though I'm in a movie...

When the lights are off downstairs and I want to get some water or something, I ask my dad to come with me because I'm scared of thieves or something.

Hissing cockroaches terrify me...

I sleep with the air conditioning and the fan on.

I have had facial hair since the 7th grade, and I've been shaving since the 8th grade.

Assumptions

2011-03-20T14:43:00.000-04:00

Assumption 1:
We don't deserve anything. We have done nothing worthy of deserving anything, and as such should not expect to attain anything. Instead, when we do attain things, we should be thankful, because we do not deserve it but are given it, nonetheless.

Assumption 2:
Everything could be worse. We all live in a position in which our lives could be much worse. Thus, we shouldn't complain about how bad our lives are; rather, we should acknowledge how fortunate we are that we have what we have.

Assumption 3:
No one is good. If good is the absence of evil, then even he who has only done one bad thing in his life is not good. Thus, no one deserves to be rewarded for good deeds, but should instead be surprised when rewards do come (See Assumption 1).

Assumption 4:
Respect is a gift, not a reward. No one deserves respect, but everyone should give it. Demanding respect means that one believes that everyone else has an obligation to give one respect. Instead, we should understand that we have an obligation to give everyone else respect.

Assumption 5:
Perception exists parallel to reality. There is one reality; there are many perceptions. We should not seek perceptions, for perception is skewed. Instead, we should seek reality.

Assumption 6:
There is absolute good and there is absolute evil. As such, evil means by which to accomplish good are still evil, regardless of the end result.

Assumption 7:
Trust in people is foolish. If the measure of trust depends on the condition of a person's heart, then no one deserves to be trusted. The fact that no one is good means that no one is trustworthy. Thus, when people let you down, do not be surprised; do not be outraged. When people come through for you, be surprised; be thankful.

OSCAR SEASON

2011-02-26T16:19:00.000-05:00

Ok, so I tried to do this last year and I was way off, but I think the nature of my existence only demands that I put up a post related to Oscar predictions this year. So... Here we go.

BEST PICTURE: The Social Network
Directed by David Fincher, The Social Network is nothing short of a work of art. It features great acting, great directing, and a beautifully written script. Now, the question is whether or not the film deserves to win. While I'm aware of the Academy's infatuation with The Social Network, I would not vote for it come Oscar time. Hand me The King's Speech, or maybe even True Grit.

BEST DIRECTOR: David Fincher
Rarely does a film win for Best Picture without its director taking home the gold. And while this year's Best Director category is pretty much fair game, I doubt the Academy will pull a Gladiator. They're looking for ratings, people, not sincerity.

BEST ACTOR: Colin Firth
The only reason for which I would complain about a Colin Firth win would be a Jeff Bridges loss. But the veteran actor took home the gold last year, and the Academy doesn't like to award actors twice in a row. It makes them look too cliquy. Personally, I do think that Colin Firth deserves the award; I just hate how Bridges doesn't stand a chance.

BEST ACTRESS: Natalie Portman
Darren Aronofsky's Black Swan is Oscar Gold. It's the type of art house, strange, indie-feeling movie that the Academy loves to hate, and, just as expected, they're eating it up. And while the movie itself is definitely not worth all the hype, I must agree with Natalie Portman's nomination. Even that, however, must be qualified in a year of poor leading gal performances.

And that's all for now, folks. Here's me throwing some free publicity to the Oscar people. Tune in tomorrow to see what happens.

Hello Love

2011-02-22T20:17:00.000-05:00

It's as simple as a desire to feel loved. That's what I think fuels a lot if what people do.
Regardless of who they are, what they believe, or what they've experienced, few people can actually deny that they yearn to be loved and wanted. That's why I feel so jealous sometimes. I hear everyone talk about how important other people are to them and I feel empty... And it's not like I'm not loved; my parents tell me all the time that they love me, but I always think that that doesn't count because they're my parents and they're supposed to say that.
I just want to be important to someone.

The Christian Troll

2011-02-04T20:40:00.002-05:00

According to Urbandictionary.com (use with caution), the definition of a "troll" is as follows:

"One who posts a deliberately provocative message to a newsgroup or message board with the intention of causing maximum disruption and argument."

Well, don't call me a troll, but lately I've been seeing more and more Christian trolls grace the pulpit and walk the Christian event arenas. Now, Christian trolls may not realize it, but asking "uncomfortable questions" without looking at the theology behind what they're asking may actually be doing more harm than good.

Which brings us to the question: how does one know if one is a Christian troll? Well, have no fear, Davalos is here. The following is a dichotomous key, of sorts, to determine if you are, in fact, a Christian troll.

1. The Troll by Fire
A Troll by Fire generally comes from what the nation calls "The Bible Belt." This type of troll usually comes from a denomination with the word "Southern" in its name. The Troll by Fire is your run-of-the-mill fire and brimstone type preacher. Usually male, over fifty, and perpetually sweaty, this particular troll is skilled at scaring the living daylights out of you with stories of people going to Hell. Additionally, this type of troll is known to confuse first-time churchgoers, as his mentioning of Satan every other sentence makes the novice Christian wonder if he's accidentally wandered into one of those weird Satan-worshipping churches.

2. The Perez Hilton Troll
The Perez Hilton Troll is the source of all juicy secrets at church. He or she is usually very young or very old, and there is always one at every church. Able to spread secrets in record time, the Perez Hilton is not ashamed to talk about anyone--including (or should I say, especially) the pastor. Some churches, however, have started training elite squadrons to weed out Perez Hiltons, but the more agile ones are able to spread gossip in a spiritual manner, usually in the form of prayer requests (I would like to pray for ... because he's been cheating on his wife) or by adding the phrase "bless his/her soul" after the gossip has been spread.

3. The Darwinist Troll
Usually young and liberal, the Darwinist Troll looks down on all other churchgoers due to their lack of knowledge in the realms of science. Known for excessive questioning during church services, the Darwinist Troll is usually from the North and is college-educated. The Darwinist Troll is always on a mission: to prove that the book of Genesis is wrong, and that any miracle stories in the Bible are metaphors and should not be taken seriously. Additionally, the Darwinist Troll will target the weakest preacher and ask him questions just to prove a point, and even if the preacher answers them formidably, he won't concede anytime soon. Fortunately, the Darwinist Troll is usually quick to leave the church by age 27, but is sure to drag some members down with him.

4. The Apocalypse Troll
Known for being keen on the end-days prophecies, the Apocalypse Troll is your best bet when it comes to knowing when to stock up on SPAM in preparation for a decade of food shortage. While well-intentioned, the Apocalypse Troll may come off a little strong, especially when he's been assigned to teach Sunday School for New Christians, in which, even if the lesson is about the woman at the well, he'll be able to throw in at least ten apocalyptic references per minute. If you don't believe in global warming because you think that the world is going to end before then, chances are you're an Apocalypse Troll.

5. The Troll Under the Bridge
Probably the most dangerous of all trolls, the Troll Under the Bridge is known for sitting under bridges and waiting for goats to pass by. Once a goat attempts to cross his bridge, the Troll Under the Bridge will attempt to eat it, usually to no avail because goats are randomly smarter than trolls.

Well, there you have it. My dichotomy of Christian Trolls. I hope that you've enjoyed reading this as much as I've enjoyed writing it. Until next time.

From the office of Daniel Davalos

Top 40... Update

2011-01-16T16:47:00.000-05:00

Alright, so I figured I actually wanted to keep my forty favorite movies list on a page, since I didn't want it to get lost within the storm that are the Blogspot archives. Thus, I posted it on a separate page.
If I make any edits to it, I'll make a new post for each edit, as well as actually changing it on the page.
Anyways, that's it.
Have a great day!

Dry Bones

2011-01-15T18:24:00.002-05:00

my soul cries out

my soul cries out for you

these bones cry out
these dry bones cry for you
to live and move
only You
can raise the dead
lift my head up

Jesus, You’re the one who saves us
Constantly creates us into something new
Jesus You’re the one who finds us
Surely our Messiah will make all things new

--Gungor

My name is Daniel Davalos. Thank you.

2011-01-14T22:33:00.000-05:00

Talking to a good friend of mine, I was inspired to read through some of my older posts.
I was leafing through the pages, when I happened upon a post called The multi-dimensional idealist. And come now, before you start judging me for having written some sort of epic about a philosopher traveling through multiple dimensions and having passed it off as a blog post, you should find out what it's about. Because it's about me, and it's about the me that I want people to know.
In fact, I'm so desperate for people to know who I am that I'm writing about the post AGAIN. Call it self-publicity, call it a desperate cry for attention, I don't care.
Which brings me to my actual point.
I think I've finally figured it out. My problem is that I'm not genuine at all, despite the fact that I try so hard to convince myself otherwise. Just like everyone else, I'm a freak whose problems are at the center of the universe, and I'm too afraid to deal with them because I don't want to stop pitying myself. And the only way for me to not deal with my problems is to pretend that I don't care about them and to pretend that I do care about everyone else's problems.
Truth be told, however, I see myself, my real self reflected in the faces of those I call my friends. And it might not necessarily be that they actually resemble me in any manner, rather, that I'm so twisted with cynicism that I actually believe that everyone who pretends to care about me doesn't.
"No, Daniel, you're just being paranoid."
Oh, how I wish it were so. But the circumstantial evidence does nothing but build up in my head to the point where I'm filled with thoughts about how hierarchical society, my society is. And it's not that it's not, that much is real. I can see it with my two eyes: I can't get away with doing some of the things that others can simply because I'm not as well-liked as them.
I think that what it comes down to is my perception of that reality. For some damn reason, my head is so filled with doubt and insecurities that I can't deal with the fact that people will like people better than other people.
I just can't bring myself to deal with the fact that, despite the fact that I've worked so hard to be well liked by everybody, some people will hate me and some people will like me less than average. And, you know what, even people hating me I can deal with. Even people talking about me behind my back I can deal with... as long as I don't like them. As long as I haven't made it my goal to be liked specifically by them.
And I just get so jealous. My friends have amazing relationships with each other that I can't have because I'm different. I'm a freak with so many thoughts in his head that plague his mind and that cripple his rationale. Just like everyone else, right?
If I want you to take anything away from this post, it's these two things:
1. Your problems are not at the center of the universe.
2. Don't shut up and do deal with it.

My name is Daniel Davalos. Thank you.

PRIMAL FURY

2011-01-12T20:17:00.000-05:00

Hello, my name is Daniel Davalos and for three days I have been held hostage by the blanket of white evil that now tries to suffocate the crown jewel of the South that is Atlanta. I don't know if I can survive much longer; my provisions are running low and the ice crystals nearly cover my talons.
Alright, I'm bored.
That's right: no philosophical thoughts, not theological breakthroughs.
This one's dedicated to writing about something that I hope everyone will relate to: life.
As I look around, I wonder how the cavemen did it so long ago. With a lack of central heating and running water, they were able to survive the onslaught of coldness that were the multiple Ice Ages.
Weird, though, I kinda wish I didn't have all the technology to help me brave through the blizzard. A primal urge has taken over in me and I want to hunt. But even that I want to do primitively: I want to go into the wild and find myself a good stick, then use a rock to carve it into a knife, and then use the knife to cut down another stick and carve out a nice spear. This whole time, of course, I want to be protected only by the leather loin cloth that covers my loins and the man-hair that covers my chest.
I want to sneak around the forest and find a defenseless forest creature--maybe a momma squirrel collecting her sons' nuts, or a baby deer that's lost its way--and I want to stalk it until just the right moment when I will pounce out of the underbrush like a puma and sink my teeth into its vulnerable neck, its warm blood dripping down my muscular throat.
Then, of course, I expect a boar to come charging at me, angered by the fact that I've slaughtered its only friend, and I will thrust my spear into its head, swinging it high above me for the whole forest to see that I reign supreme.
Out of these animals' skins I will make flags to fly high above my campsite for all other hunters to know that this is MY land and I will allow nobody, and that means you, to trespass. Even a careless stroll within my boundaries will result in a painful, bloody death.
Sadly, however, humanity no longer works this way.
Now we have "laws" that dictate our "behavior." In fact, we've become so "civilized" that we're expected to "cook" our food before we eat it, lest we acquire "diseases."
Please.
Yes, I know what you're thinking: Daniel, did humanity ever really survive like this?
My answer is yes.
But now, we sit behind our comfortable, Venetian blind-barred prisons. Sheesh, even the sound of these tap-tap-tapping computer keys disgusts me. I can feel my pupil dilating and my senses heightening. Bahaha, watch out humanity.
Now you're asking: What does this have to do with anything?
It doesn't. This is my blog and I do what I please with it. And just to validate that last statement, I will do this:
gdnsajkgdjhgfl;kshglk;jdflkhjflk;gjfl;kdjhl;kdjhkl;
Alright, that's all for now. Bye!

Winter Wonderland

2011-01-11T22:50:00.001-05:00

Well, given the circumstances, I suppose that it's only a relevant blogger's job to write about the state of relative blizzard in which Atlanta has found itself plunged.

For half a week now, the city of Atlanta has been completely shut down, its streets encumbered by the unbearable weight of four inches of snow. Real talk, this is probably more snow than I've even seen down here, and while this is probably bureaucratic hell for the government, I finally understand the meaning of "winter wonderland."

It's also given me a chance to think. It's funny, really, how beautiful everything becomes when you get rid of the buzz of everyday life. With only one car per five minutes passing by, it's amazing to see how much the silence and nonexistence can be so pleasing, if not tantalizing.

Sort of makes me want to move out into the woods.

Or become some sort of anti-technology hippie.

Regardless, this week I've been able to step back from life and look at God's creation and marvel. There's just something so beautiful about the city covered in that white blanket of peace. It almost brings a tear to my eye. Almost.

Anyways, if you're reading this from Atlanta, enjoy the rest of your relative blizzard.

If not...

The Bible is not a self-help book

2011-01-07T18:18:00.000-05:00

You don't believe them when they tell you that reading the Bible actually helps.
About a week ago, my life was in a state of complete turmoil. I was absolutely certain that I abhorred my friends with a burning passion, my heart had been broken by memories of the past, and suddenly everything seemed irrelevant.
Then, out of habit, I picked up my Bible, thinking to myself that it would somehow help prove me right. Somehow, I hoped, God would lead me to the verse where it says that we must become vengeful recluses, waiting for just the right moment to snap at anyone who went against the Bible. Fortunately, there's no such verse, and instead I saw words compiled into sentences that I thought had nothing to do with me. At that point in my life, they were just stories of people who, by all means, were better than me.
I hated that. I wondered, "How am I expected to read the Bible everyday if everything just seems so irrelevant?"
I started thinking, and I figured that that's the reason why a lot of people don't read the Bible. No one denies the fact that the Bible contains much philosophical content that can be life-altering at some point or another. But people aren't always searching for life-altering moments. Generally, people are searching for answers.
That was me. I was searching for answers. I was looking for a justification, if not an explanation to my attitude. But I wasn't finding the answers for which I was looking, and I couldn't find the ways by which to change myself.
But that's the thing. The Bible isn't a self-help book. It's the means by which we can communicate with God, and just like anything holy, we must go to it with the right attitude.
I believe that God is a God with intellect, emotions, and a personality. And just like anyone else with a personality, he doesn't want to deal with people with crappy attitudes.
The problem is, that was me.
The problem is, that's everyone who doesn't find answers in the Bible. Because the Bible is perfect, and if we're going to it to prove ourselves right, or to prove to someone that they're wrong, we're going with the wrong attitude.
So I prayed.
I prayed that God would change my attitude and that He would show me what I needed to see. And he led me to the Bible. And it's surprising to see how dynamic that book can be. It's surprising to see how you can read two completely different things from reading the same thing.
The Bible is holy, and there is power in it. It is the word of God, and if we have a problem with it, more than likely the problem is us.

Happy Birth of Jesus Day!

2010-12-12T14:29:00.000-05:00

What does Christmas mean to me?
Every year, every serious Christian goes through a dilemma come Christmas-time. We look around at the billboards, the commercials on TV, and the crazy sales that end up with some guy getting trampled as people try to rush through the door, and we ask ourselves, "What is the meaning of Christmas?"
More than the feel-good, Charlie Brown cliches that are fed down our throats, and more than the idea that "Christmas is a season for giving," we all know that our perception of Christmas is not what it's supposed to be.
I think it has to do with the fact that Christmas isn't in the Bible. There's no passage that says, "And on the twenty-fifth day of the twelfth Cesarean month, thou shalt celebrate the birth of thy savior." Maybe it's so hard to celebrate Christmas in a Biblical manner because the ritual of Christmas isn't in the Bible.
For years I've thought about this. I know the story of Christmas, and I understand the way things happened with the birth of Jesus, but what does it all mean? And more importantly, what do evergreens have to do with the birth of my Savior?
I think that, in order to really get to the meaning of Christmas, it's important to strip everything down to the core. What are the important elements? What is the influence that Christmas has on my life, and not so much on my culture?
The first question is easy to answer. We all know the story of Christmas, we all know the exposition, we all know the series of events: There was a child born to a virgin mother, and this particular child was the Son of God. A group of shepherds were the first to recognize his divinity, and then some Wizards who gave him three gifts: Gold, to signify his kingliness, Frankincense, to signify his humility, and myrrh, to signify his death.
Now, here's the hard part. What is the influence that Christmas has on my life?
The question, in and of itself, is not hard, especially for those of us who have been churched from very early on. The birth of Jesus means that we can have direct communion with God, because Jesus has become our new "High priest," as the book of Hebrews says, and we no longer need to go through the lengthy process of sacrifice to get God's attention.
Christmas should be a life-altering reminder for us. If we're not on the right path, Christmas should provide plenty of incentive to get back on track. Christmas is the story of ultimate sacrifice: of an all-powerful God becoming human just to have communion with us. Christmas is a season for giving. God gave us himself; what are we offering him?
This does NOT answer my question as to the meaning of Christmas, however. I must make it clear that I'm still on that quest to find its meaning, because I believe that that life-altering experience shouldn't only be had on Christmas; it should be had every day, every morning when we wake up. Submission, after all, isn't a one-time thing. You don't maintain a relationship by talking to someone ONCE.
The quest, thus, is ongoing.

Are we too comfortable to rebel?

2010-11-24T21:34:00.000-05:00

Dear Brothers and Sisters,

If you've ever felt animosity from the world because of your Christian beliefs, or if you've ever felt bad that someone ACTUALLY believes that Christians are judgmental and you've made it your personal mission to prove them wrong, this is for you. I mean, I write these for myself, but if the description fits you at all, then I would consider it a great act of kindness if you would just take a moment to peer into the entrails of my mind.

Brothers and sisters, we're fighting a war. Like it or not, the moment we decided to pick up our crosses and follow Christ, we were thrust into a war that's been going on since before humans even existed. Ephesians talks about the Armor that God has bestowed upon us. Brothers and sisters, I understand that by now this post is beginning to sound old and tired, but allow me to reach my point.

For too long, I've allowed complacency to dictate my faith. I've been caught up in this New Age wave of proving to everyone around me that Christians aren't judgmental, and that we are, after all, humans. I've allowed myself to slip into a mindset that believes that the ways of the World and the ways of the Christ are compatible.

I recently saw the film "Holiday" with Jack Black, Cameron Diaz, Jude Law, and Kate Winslett. In it, Winslett's character says something to her estranged lover that describes their relationship like no other. She says, "I'm a square block and you're a round hole."

Brothers and sisters, that's us. We're Christians, and we're square blocks. But for too long, we've been trying to fit into round holes, and it doesn't work. And despite the fact that we know that, we try to jam our squareness into the world's roundness, to the point where we come to realize that the only way we're going to fit into that round hole is by breaking our Christian identities. We forget that round holes were made for round blocks, and when we realize what it'll take to fit, we come to a crossroads. All of a sudden we have a choice to make, and we have to choose between not fitting in at all or giving up our identities to retain our anonymity.

But brothers and sisters, we're fighting a war, and God doesn't need spies. He doesn't need covert intel. The enemy is at the gates of the church, and what God needs is soldiers. He doesn't need flimsy Christians who will buckle and shift who they are just to prove to the world that they're not something. He needs firm soldiers who know what they stand for, and who are ready and willing to put on that armor and grab that sword and fight.

So brothers and sisters, it is not our job to shape others' perceptions of who we are. Our job is to be Christ's followers. Let's stop trying to make Christianity look good, and let's get our priorities in line.

From:
The Office of Daniel Davalos

Gnashing of teeth

2010-11-17T22:37:00.000-05:00

I have no idea what's been going on with my life recently.
Freshman Dodgeball. That's when it all began. That's when all the discontent, the realization, and the inward gnashing of teeth started happening. Before that, I was content. I had my close group of friends, all of whom I considered to be strong Christians and who would surely help me and hold me accountable in my walk with Christ.
Now, I'm not so sure.
So much has happened since then, almost in a series of events that I've been too blind to see coming, that I've been anesthetized to how quickly everything can change. All of a sudden, I didn't feel confortable around them. I felt like we were all in completely different spheres, and I was detaching myself by some sort of wicked turn of fate.
Like dominoes, the pillars of my life started falling and I began to ask myself if I even had friends from the beginning. Everything that I did was all part of a huge act. I was going through the motions, but I found myself to be secluded in a world of strangers. Suddenly, everything started changing and the innocence was replaced by lust and self-centeredness and lies and hostility and nepotism, and like a man on a sinking ship, all I could do was look for higher ground because I knew that the minute the water touched me, I would be beckoned to the watery depths, never to return.
I prayed and I found comfort. I found out that I wasn't alone, and that the discontent didn't go as far as an inward desire to be noticed or cared about. I prayed and I realized that the reason I felt so alone was because I was. I realized that I wasn't practicing what I was preaching, and to avoid this, the people around me had just quit preaching. I fumed with anger, and like a shaken up soda bottle it all came gushing out one night.
But I prayed again and I found comfort. I realized that I couldn't change the people around me; only myself. I had to be genuine and loving and it didn't really matter what other people did.
I also learned. And I grew.
And now, I'm still growing. What happens in the future will happen in the future. For now, I can only seek out the Kingdom. And even though I can see the bellwethers of battle lines and boundaries being redrawn, it doesn't matter. Friendships that are consequential don't matter.

I don't know who reads this blog, and I don't know who'll read this post. This has been the most cathartic and emotional post for me, and if you happen to take it with offense, I'm sorry. I really do apologize. I had thought about writing something like this before, back when I was angry, but I figured it wouldn't be healthy. I'm not sure as to its benefits now, but, after all, this is my "public private journal."

I would seek out the subjects of my discontent and confront them with it, but what it boils down to is my weakness and terror. I'm still learning, and I'm still trying to figure things out.

I don't know who you are, but I love you, and I really do pray that you find a desire to seek out Christ.

Daniel.

The Elevator

2010-10-19T20:05:00.002-04:00

I've been feeling literate lately.

The Elevator

I've always found it strange, the concept of elevators. That man, through a series of pulleys and levers and doohickeys, all connected by a series of two-inch-thick reinforced steel wires and gears and whatchamacallits, can defy the forces of gravity and go up or, if he chooses, down, having no regard for the negative-nine-point-eight-one meters per second squared that are conspiring against him, waiting just around the corner to find him and stab him in the abdomen.

But man simply refuses to comply. And that's what it all is about, really. The invention of the elevator is not so much born out of necessity--after all, who can't walk (or wheel himself) up a ramp?--but rather, out of our unwillingness to conform. And it drives nature nuts. Because regardless of the fact that nature wants us to only be able to defy those negative-nine-point-eight-one meters per second squared through the sweat on our brows and the grease on our elbows, we're the masters of putting stuff to work for us. And if anyone has anything to say about it, we've got two-inch-thick reinforced steel wires telling us we're right.

But, what's funny is, the more elevators we build, the more we complain about how we miss the excruciating experience of climbing up and down the stairs.

Which leads me to wonder: was there ever life before elevators? Was there ever life before cars and paved roads and Styrofoam cups and Starbucks and all the beautiful things in life? Did anyone ever truly have a clear view of the sky? Is it at all possible that King Solomon once looked out his front porch and thought to himself, "Huh, I hear you could see the Milky Way back in the day before all this light pollution." Could King Arthur have complained about how he was sick and tired of seeing a Ye Olde Starbuckse at every street corner? Is it possible that Jason (of the Argonaut fame) could've blown a fuse at the fact that his GPS (the compass) took him through the "bad side of town?"

Was there ever life before people complained about how things were before? How good were the good old days? Maybe time itself is an elevator, one whose doors open at every floor, but whose riders are never quite certain of what the previous floors contained. But they're certain enough of the fact that they didn't contain enough bad things to make them worse than their current floor. Maybe, by the time we reach the presidential suite, if you will, we'll be so hung up on how nice the receptionist all the way down in floor "L" was that we complain about how there's no receptionist here.

Impossible.

Of course the old days were good. Who didn't love using leaves to wipe themselves? I'm sure no one ever complained about the fact that they were expected to die shortly after they learned how to think. And call me crazy, but I have a fleeting suspicion that absolutely everyone was in love with the lack of indoor plumbing. I mean, who wouldn't?

So then, what's the point of elevators? Why do we continue to urge our intellectual betters to make our lives easier, and then continue to complain about how "back in my day, _____ did _____?" Simply put, I think, we love controversy. Our worst fear is to be content with where we are. We're always in search of an elevator that'll take us higher, but we're never happy to be there.

Maybe that's why no one has ever confessed that his favorite activity is riding elevators, but everyone always secretly gets a kick out of going up and down and pressing all the buttons, the useless "open door" and "close door" ones included.

Rapper by Night

2010-10-16T01:13:00.002-04:00

We had to write a personal narrative in AP Lang. I thought I'd share it here:

Rapper by Night

An excerpt from the non-existent memoir of a non-existent soon-to-be-rapper.

You haven't lived until you've experienced the infinite joy that is Eminem. His music, filthy as it is, is filled with demeaning messages and bouts with depression told in such eloquent fashion that you can't help but shed a tear. He inspires while he disparages; he makes the world better by accentuating the darkness of his struggles as a ghetto white boy. He tells it like it is, and he's not afraid to take a stand. Everybody, take his hand. And by golly, don't let them say you ain't beautiful, because his name is Marshall Mathers, and 'til he collapses, he's spilling these raps, killing the haters one by one. If you get in his way, he'll write a song about you and you might as well move to China because your street cred is officially ruined.

It's almost impossible to not admire this man. It's almost impossible to not admire the power that he holds in the tip of his pen. And, like any other admirable man the likes of Martin Luther King, Abraham Lincoln, and George Clooney, it's impossible to not try to imitate him. Imitation, they say, is the best form of flattery.

The first time I was introduced to Eminem was when I was in the fifth grade. I was an immigrant kid who, by all means, had to fit in. The last thing I wanted was to be seen as "that weird kid with the weird accent." So I devised a wonderful mechanism where I would draw people into my life by saying to them, "Hey, I'm Daniel Davalos. I'm from Colombia. The country, not the city." Hook, line, and sinker. Suddenly I was an exotic beast and the talk of the town. If King Kong was the eighth wonder of the world, I was the ninth.

But my career as a celebrity lasted only a few days and I was downgraded from being the Ke$ha of our times to the Soulja Boy. A has-been. A shadow of past glamor. My name went from being "Daniel Davalos, the kid from Colombia" to "Daniel who?" I had to find a way to fix this. So, in a desperate effort to stand out, I fit in. I dove into the radio stations. I surfed 95.5 when it was The Beat. And I found Eminem.

Now, mind this: I do not recommend that anyone under the age of thirteen listen to Eminem. Heck, I don't even recommend that anyone under the age of thirty listen to Eminem. But I didn't know any better. Back in the day, music was music, and lyrics were nothing more than an addition inserted later on so artists could leave their calling card. Which is to say, lyrics didn't matter. So everywhere I went I turned on 95.5 The Beat. In the car. At home. In school. At church.

And ever the mama's boy I would ask my parents what they thought of my new taste in music. They said, "As long as it's nothing bad, we're fine with it."

"It's nothing bad," I replied as the infamous chorus to "Get Low" by Lil' John drowned out my innocence.

I recognized the fact that I shouldn't be listening to music that glamorized certain sexual behavior. But Eminem was different. I remember me as a ten-year-old sitting in the back of my dad's outdated Oldsmobile, listening to the song "(A-word) Like That," wondering, "How can something so good be so bad?" It didn't make sense to me. And for a while, I became a wannabe gangster, running around the neighborhood throwing pinecones at people and sagging the heck out of my pants, but pulling them up in record time at the first sign of my parents' approach. I had a calling. I had to become the Eminem of my generation. (Little did I know that Eminem was the Eminem of my generation.)

Before I could stop myself I was living a double life. Getting straight A's and listening to alternative rock by day, writing filthy rap lyrics by night. I was the Batman of hip-hop. I had a system. It was fool-proof. But, as these things go, there was a dangerous flaw to my plan: I'd begun to develop this double-life, troubled, dark side persona in order to attain popularity, riches, and women. But by the advent of the seventh grade I was further from reaching popularity than I'd ever been, the extent of my riches was discount lunch at the cafeteria, and the only women that cared about me were the old ladies at church who thought I was still seven and whose skin seemed to be made of some sort of goopy plaster that drooped more and more with the passing of time.

So, halfway through seventh grade, I followed Dante's advice, abandoned all hope, and seeped into normality. My worst fears were coming true: I was destined to live the life of Average Joe. And, even worse, Average Joe was white. No longer could I draw attention to myself because of my skin color, and no longer were my adventures in the lush jungles of Colombia (the country, not the city) enough to make me unique.

What was originally a burning passion for Eminem and everything that he did morphed into a toleration for AFI, The Killers, and My Chemical Romance. Like Anakin Skywalker, I had become that which I'd set out to battle. And I could only pray for an intervention because the melodrama that was actuality was tearing me up faster than I could handle.

Regardless, life bore on. No one seemed to be affected by the crushing of my dreams, and my Middle School career was filled with Pacer Tests durning PE and the reality of being the only kid with the ability to grow facial hair. I would've milked it, but my past experiences told me that everyone would one day be able to grow facial hair, and my fame would vanish like The Backstreet Boys.

But then, something happened in my emergence as a High School student that changed my outlook on rap and its role in my life: I got friends.

And not just the kinds of friends that occasionally talk to you during class when none of their real friends are there. I got real friends. As I explored this novel concept of friendship, I realized that I didn't have to sing songs about degrading women and acquiring currency to be well-liked. But at the same time, I didn't have to give up my fascination with Eminem. I didn't have to live a double life and appear troubled and dark. My aim didn't have to be to get cash and women.

All I had to be from the beginning was me.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder

2010-10-10T15:54:00.000-04:00

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

Behold: beauty.

art is beautiful.

creation is beautiful.

innovation is beautiful. (from afar)

the heart of worship is beautiful.

unpredictable weather (full reliance on God) is beautiful.

I promised myself this wouldn't happen.

2010-10-10T13:34:00.000-04:00

Before having embarked on the journey that is Junior year, I told myself many things. I told myself that I was going to be on fire for God, that I would absolutely not allow FCA to become my chore, and that Junior year would be a blast where I'd be laughing as my friends stressed their eyes out with schoolwork.

Fast-forward to the present, and only one of those things has come true. Slightly.

Junior year is great. I'm not too overloaded with work, and the staying-up-late-doing-homework thing hasn't really hit me. Maybe it's because I've been doing that since sophomore year. My classes are pretty chill; first period gets me fired up, especially when we debate topics such as politics, civil rights, and astrophysics. Second (or third, if you want to be technical about it) is French which is, in very few words, more of the same. I sit in the back, crack a few jokes, feel good about myself. Next is math which, as always, still sucks. But something about it sucks less than last year. Maybe it's the change in teacher, or maybe it's the fact that I know that no matter how big an obstacle math appears to be, there aren't any new breakthroughs being made, so it won't grow, but I will. History is, again, more of the same. I'm learning more, but I haven't had to put forth as much work. Video class is, as always, getting on my nerves. I guess that's what happens when you stamp a grade on doing what you love. And finally is physics. And, in the words of Forrest Gump, that's all I'm going to say about that.

So there it is. Other than plain out getting on my nerves, Junior year doesn't have that suck factor that everyone talks about. Yet. Knock on wood. Which is to say, I hope it gradually gets harder, otherwise I'll be awfully disappointed.

Now, a third-person observer would generally think that this availability of free time would lead to a bustling social life, right? Wrong. Apart from the Skype conversations that I hold religiously every night, my social life is pretty much restricted to whatever I can fit in during school. See, I think that everyone's approaching a time in their lives when they're choosing who they're going to be for the rest of their lives. And 80% of the time, that plan doesn't include a Colombian Jesus Freak who loves film. But for the 20% that it does, I'm truly thankful for those people. I'm only falsely thankful for the rest.

Still, it sucks big time to see everyone start to go their own way. But I guess it'll dull the pain of literally seeing everyone go their own way when they go to college.

FCA is, unfortunately, a chore. A job. An annoying job for which I volunteered, having heard exactly what they said when they told us how hard it was going to be, but not having the brains to realize that they weren't just trying to scare me. What annoys me is the inevitability of those leaders who are there to make dead weight. I think I'd be more empathetic if I didn't have a busy schedule too. Question: What happens when you have something you really care about going on at the same time as some FCA event (regardless of whether or not it was scheduled before)? Answer: FCA wins. But I guess that's what being a "Core" Leader is about, right? Providing an example and bearing all that weight when you realize that everyone puts what they care about first and FCA somewhere in the back. I swear, if everyone could care a little bit more, it'd be permissible for me to care a little bit less. But thus is the fate of the minister.

Don't even get me started.

Oh. Too late.

To those of you who carry that mantra of "Faith without works is dead" like a necklace wrapped around your neck for all to see, here's my counter: "Faith without faith is dead." I'm sure that might sound heretical to some people, but that's the conclusion to which I've come. The problem with upholding the "Faith without works" thing as a battle cry is that we have such a predilection to self-flagellation that we do the works and forget the faith. In essence, we do the hard part and forget the basics. In my opinion, believing is so much easier than doing; So why have I fallen into a rut of doing without believing? I think that, after this Wednesday is over (or maybe Thursday), I'm just going to step back a little bit and let go. Not completely, because so much depends on me being in control (I would argue that 1/5 of the ministry) that if I completely gave out, I would find rest, but I would also become a hindrance.

Now that's the last thing I want.

Cash Cab makes me mad

2010-09-23T00:07:00.002-04:00

I've noticed a peculiar trend: When people make money, they don't like to lose it. Even if they don't need the money, or if they didn't have the money to begin with so they have nothing to lose, they're so afraid to lose it that they stop thinking rationally. I am, of course, talking about Cash Cab.

If you've never seen the show, it goes a little bit like this:
Two unsuspecting lovers are out and about on a date night. They need to get from one end of Manhattan to the other. What do they do? The hail a cab. The cab arrives, the driver greeting them with some sketchy salutation along the lines of, "Sorry, I can't see very good." They tell him where to go, he presses the button, and BLAM! A colorful assortment of lights beams into existence as the unsuspecting victims are plunged into a game filled with questions and strikes and red light challenges. But somehow, they make it to their destination without getting three questions wrong. They have a choice to make: walk out with the money they've racked up or gamble it all in a double or nothing video bonus question.

Tension. A low hum turns into a suspenseful score. Beads of sweat accumulate at the contestants' brows. You grab your remote and check how much time there is left of the show. Two minutes. They're not gonna go for it. They take the money. They run. They take the safe route. They make me mad.

I just don't understand why people don't take chances. Why don't we take risks? Why don't the people stop and think, "Well, by getting this free taxi ride, I've probably saved like a hundred bucks, and I didn't have any money when I stepped in, so I won't lose anything..."

Are we so comfortable with being content that being happy is no longer desirable? What are we afraid of? I've never seen anyone on Cash Cab go for double or nothing and lose. It's probably happened, but the video bonus question is never difficult.

But then I take a breath. What would I do in that situation?

And that's when I realize that I'd probably go for the double or nothing and the people on the show suck.

The Year of Living Biblically

2010-09-17T18:19:00.003-04:00

So I recently picked up this book called "The Year of Living Biblically" by A. J. Jacobs. The book is about the agnostic author's quest to decipher the strange laws and practices of the Bible by, you guessed it, following the laws and traditions of the Bible literally for one year. Now, I know this sounds like the kind of book you would pick up at your local neighborhood Christian store, but I actually found it in the Humor section of Barnes & Noble.

I was originally intrigued by the cover, depicting an ancient-times Israelite standing in the middle of Manhattan sporting a Moses beard and the Ten Commandments. "This is either gonna be really spiritual, or really wrong," I thought to myself as I began leafing through the pages. The truth is somewhere in the middle, which always makes for a good read.

I must've gotten some twenty pages into the book before I realized that I had to buy it. And I wondered: "Why can't this type of book be more publicized?" Books like "The Year of Living Biblically" and "The Unlikely Disciple" are great ways for secular minds to find out more about faith--because they're written by secular minds who want to find out more about faith. This type of experiment is like Faith lite: Comfortable to those who just want to explore the religion, but possibly offensive to those extreme fundamentalists who probably wouldn't be reading the book because they'd be too busy burning a Qu'ran.

I digress. As far as I've read, I have noticed one pattern: the author tries to not be too heavy on theology. Justifiably so: He's built up a following working at Esquire--not my first choice for theological content. Despite his evasion, the Jesus Freak in me saw the spiritual connections that Jacobs never tried to make.

The first one was that of a works-based faith. In the book, Jacobs wrote about how he felt uncomfortable when he first prayed to God, seeing as though he didn't believe in God. "Maybe if I go through the motions I'll start believing in God," he figured. Problem is, he has it all wrong. Every good Christian knows that you believe therefore you do, not the other way around.

The second one was that of persecution. He talked about how, in this certain bookstore in Manhattan, they sell Bibles that look like magazines so that people won't be judged when they're reading the Scripture in public. One thing is right about that: people judging Christians. That's the way it should be, and that's the way Christians should want to live. Why would we want to conceal our God's Word?

The third, and last one so far, was that of joy in communal spirituality. As Jacobs became engaged in charitable acts that were linked to his newfound religiosity, his wife became curious and joined him. He writes, "Whenever Julie collaborates with me on my biblical quest, I get a Mr. Berkowitz-like high." What an awesome description.

One of the things that will keep me reading the book will be the search for spiritual tid bits such as those three. Additionally, the books presents several debates that are present within the Christian community, many of which most Christians are oblivious to. The most prevalent of these is the clash between Fundamentalism and Modernism or, in simpler terms, Young Earth Creationism vs. Intelligent Design. That should be interesting.

Off to sea...

2010-08-22T22:26:00.000-04:00

So tomorrow's the first day of school.
Time to get back into the routine and not have my life messed up by doing whatever I wanna do.
Kinda reinforces the idea that if you take your life into your own hands you'll end up messing it up. In having complete freedom during the summer made me see why I need God that much more. Because without him, I'd be on my own, and I don't know what to do with complete control.
Anyways, something exciting happened today. Michael Donehey finally accepted my friend request on Facebook. Makes me feel like I'm that much more a part of the band. I know I'm not, but I can dream, can't I?
All jokes aside, life is actually going much better than I'd anticipated. Today I had an FCA meeting to discuss Fall Semester Kickoff, and it only took like thirty minutes to get everything down. That had to do with the theme of this blog post somehow...
In any case, that's life right now. Let's see how I fare at school tomorrow.
(I'm gonna be a junior!!!)

The sad part is that it's not that sad

2010-08-17T00:37:00.000-04:00

Everyone's leaving for college, and the sad part is that it's not that sad.
I don't know what it is, but everything just seems so surreal. It almost feels like no one's actually leaving, and even though I tell myself that it's gonna be really sad, it never is.
Does this mean that I have no feelings?
I don't know.
Anyways, this was my 50th post. Isn't that really uneventful?
Alright, well, here's a random video.

The test began sixteen years ago.

2010-08-07T14:39:00.001-04:00

So today I was looking back at some of the posts that I've written in the past.
It really is a learning experience to go back and find out how you got where you are. I mean, I think the idea of a "journey" is something that we all take for granted, because we love the mindset of living in the "now" so much that we fail to look back at who we were and why we are.
What dawned on me is that every single event in my life, nay, history, has helped to shape who I am. Every single person, in some way or another, has helped to shape me, and I can't be in a better place, because this is where I'm supposed to be.
That's amazing to me.
And I guess that, other than realizing all of that, looking back at who you were and what you've been through serves as a sort of refresher. It's almost like looking through your notes the day before a big chemistry test. Except for, in this case, the test is every day, day after day, and if you're not prepared, you might fail multiple times.
So, I mean, I suppose that creating this blog has been a blessing to me, because, even though barely anyone reads it, this is for me. And it's mine. And it's so reassuring to know that I have grown. It's reassuring to know that I am going somewhere, and the fact that that "somewhere" is unknown to me excites me.
I guess what I mean to say is, I finally understand why I'm content right now.
It's not a curse, like I made it out to be.
And despite the fact that I've been told multiple times by different people how I should use my content-ness, I never really accepted that until now.
Welcome to study hall.
The quiz is tomorrow.
The test began sixteen years ago.

The magical negro

2010-08-07T00:34:00.001-04:00

Alright, so I've been diving into Wikipedia recently, and you'd be surprised at all the stuff you find there by just clicking links from article to article.
Anyways, before you read this post, just know this: I'M NOT RACIST. These are just quoted passages from a page that I found hilarious.

"The magical negro is a supporting, sometimes mystical stock character in fiction who, by use of special insight or powers, helps the white (or non-black) protagonist get out of trouble. The word negro, now considered by many as archaic and sometimes offensive, is used intentionally to suggest that the archetype is a racial throwback, an update of the "Sambo" and "Noble savage" (or "savage other") stereotypes.^[1] African-American filmmaker Spike Lee popularized the term, deriding the archetype of the "super-duper magical negro" in 2001 while discussing films with students at Washington State University and at Yale University.^[2]^[3]"

"The magical negro is typically but not always "in some way outwardly or inwardly disabled, either by discrimination, disability or social constraint," often a janitor or prisoner.^[5] He has no past; he simply appears one day to help the white protagonist.^[6]^[7] He usually has some sort of magical power, "rather vaguely defined but not the sort of thing one typically encounters."^[6] He is patient and wise, often dispensing various words of wisdom, and is "closer to the earth."^[2]"

The article goes on to give examples of "magical negroes" in literature, after which it gives examples of "magical negroes" in real life. Yes, you guessed it. Barack Obama is considered to be a "magical negro" by Wikipedia. Goes to show that sometimes reality is better than... un-reality.

Daniel

Theseus' Paradox

2010-08-06T01:01:00.000-04:00

"The Ship of Theseus, also known as Theseus' paradox, or various variants, notably grandfather's axe (US) and Trigger's Broom (UK) is a paradox that raises the question of whether an object which has had all its component parts replaced remains fundamentally the same object."

"John Locke (a 17th-century English writer) proposed a scenario regarding a favorite sock that develops a hole. He pondered whether the sock would still be the same after a patch was applied to the hole. If yes, then, would it still be the same sock after a second patch was applied? Indeed, would it still be the same sock many years later, even after all of the material of the original sock has been replaced with patches?^{[citation needed]"}

"George Washington's axe (sometimes "my grandfather's axe") is the subject of an apocryphal story of unknown origin in which the famous artifact is "still George Washington's axe" despite having had both its head and handle replaced."

"Otherwise, one can think of many examples of objects which might fall prey to Theseus's paradox: buildings and automobiles for example can undergo complete replacement while still maintaining some aspect of their identity. Businesses, colleges, and universities often change addresses and residences, thus completely "replacing" their old material structure for a new one, yet keeping the same purpose and often the same people that keep the organization functioning as it was. If two businesses merge, their identities merge. Similarly, the human body constantly creates new cells as old cells die. The average age of cells in an adult body may be less than 10 years.^[10] Moreover, the very atoms and molecules that support and pass through the cells are constantly changing. The body is analogous to Heraclitus' river in that it consumes and expels a steady flow of nutrients, gas and water, all of it processed by cell bodies and enzymes that are themselves destroyed and remade."

-Wikipedia

So I found this stuff about Theseus' Paradox and it made me think about what it means to "be". There's some pretty interesting stuff out there.
Alright, well, that's all for now. Until next time.

You're not where you are because of where you're going; you're where you are because of where you've been

2010-07-26T23:37:00.000-04:00

So I just wanted to clarify, or elaborate on my previous post.
I don't know, call me bipolar, but the negatives aren't the only parts of my life.
Just like any other person, I have my doubts, I have my weaknesses, and I have my struggles. But just like any other person, I have my own way of dealing with these weaknesses. In my case, I acknowledge them, but I compare them to what's good in my life.
Every time I do this, I realize that dwelling on my weaknesses and the negative parts of my life is foolish; not only because it brings me pain, but because what's good in my life overshadows it so much more.
First of all, I recognize that God has blessed me immensely.
He's put me in a place where I have these wonderful friends whose hearts are also devoted to seeking him out. I have wonderful relationships that mean much more than being able to joke around, although they include that too. I'm in a place, friend-wise, where I can call up one of my buddies and ask him to pray on the phone, without fear of judgment. And while we all may not get along all the time, I've had amazing experiences and break-through moments with EVERY SINGLE ONE of my friends. Or every single one of my close friends, at least.
Second of all, God has provided me with a wonderful family that, despite the struggles and the tribulations, has remained intact. We're not perfect; I recognize that. But it's our ability to get over those imperfections that keeps us so close together. And while I may take my parents for granted sometimes, I'm truly thankful for my dad, and I'm truly thankful for my mom. I don't love them equally because they're different people, but I don't love one more than the other because, in my perspective, there's no way to actually "measure" love.
Thirdly, God has provided me with a heart that recognizes the need of the mind. I usually think things through, and I'm ever-thankful that God made that way. I'm also thankful for the talents that he's given me, as well as the weaknesses. You see, I've never been better than everyone at anything. And I recognize that as a fact: I won't ever be the best at everything, no matter how much I want that to be the case. Instead, I count my lot and work with what I got, and I go as far as I can go, and I don't fret because I can't go farther. That, in my eyes, is a blessing.
So what, exactly, is my point?
My point is, I'm not just some depressing freak who shares his innermost thoughts with who-knows-who. I'm a person. I'm a human being with human emotions. I have my strengths and I have my weaknesses. But none of that makes me me.
What makes me me is my communion with Christ. (Communion=common+union, lol) Because if my identity relied on me, I would be junked up.
Haha, so those are my thoughts for today.

-Daniel

The multi-dimensional idealist

2010-07-25T03:46:00.003-04:00

"I know what you feel, I just don't understand it."

Wise words, Mr. Brent Perkins.

I think that's one of those things that I can call the story of my life.

Weird, I've been getting a lot more personal with my blogs lately. Here's the thing about me: I'm not JUST an idealist. I'm not JUST the one-dimensional blogger that only thinks the way he writes. Truth is, I'm a human being with human emotions. I have nice thoughts, I guess, but there's more to me.

So I guess this is my "coming out" about who I am. I scratched the surface on one of my previous blogs, but this is the real me.

I'm Daniel Davalos, and I'm insecure.

I think that my friends don't actually care about me, and I feel like I have to keep impressing them so that they'll remain my friends. I recognize the fact that I live in a dream world, but I don't wanna come back to reality. I live in a world where if I change a little bit of myself very slowly so that people don't notice that I'm changing, they'll begin to accept me more.

I'm a walking paradox; I find my validation in Christ, but I'm insecure of myself. I know what I know, but neither do I understand it, nor do I care.

My worst fear is being boxed in for the rest of my life.

What do I do if I'm scared of being content?

I have identity problems, but my identity lies in finding my own self. But I keep it under wraps, because my mask is that of someone who has it together and figured out.

I'm extremely cynical; I always think that people have other motives. I isolate myself from people because I'm afraid that if they know me COMPLETELY they'll have ammo. I'm extremely good at making people think that they know me, when who I actually am is a looming shadow laughing at them for buying the act.

But the thing is, I'm not fake.

I want to be genuine with people, but I'm not sure what that means.

Worst of all, I'm content with who I am, and it scares me.

Prayers are much appreciated :)

Daniel

Freedom

2010-07-25T03:18:00.000-04:00

I wrote this kind of a long time ago, but I guess I thought it'd be a good idea to post it now.
Enjoy:)

The man in the yellow radiation suit clutched his worn incinerator, sure that somehow it was his key to salvation. How many years, how many struggles he had gone through to arrive at this point. Redemption was at his fingertips. All he had to do was do this right and he would emerge from the world of shadows and into the world of hope. All he had to do was what they told him, and everything would be alright.
"Now listen here," had said Commander Blithe back at the station, "the job is easy. The pay is good. All you gotta do is follow orders. It's that easy. But remember, mess up once and you're out. Mess up once, and you might be some recruit's next job. Everyone clear?" As clear as could be. If there was anything that the man in the yellow radiation suit was good at, it was following directions.
The armored truck rolled to an uneasy stop. Its bright yellow exterior made striking contrast with the grey ruins of the Old City. Old Linton City. Once the most prominent metropolis in the nation, the city had been reduced to filth and poverty by inopportune squatters. Now all that remained was a gray scar of rubble and lost memories. Now all that remained was yet another obstacle in building a better world. If everything went according to plan, within six months giant bulldozers would flatten the crumbling structures and a New City would replace what was once there. It all had to do with progress. Progress, Peace, Economy. The motto of the free world.
At the back of the truck, a giant mechanical door hissed as it opened slowly. A harsh ray of light made its way into the exposed cabin: The Pod, as they called it, was where they carried the Cleaners. The men in the yellow radiation suits. Those responsible for incinerating anything that could get stuck in the gears of the giant dozers. There was nothing worse for progress than a jammed dozer. Not in the free world.
"What exactly would get those dozers jammed?" The enthusiastic new recruit asked with a lit face, his hand stretched high above his head.
Commander Blithe looked at him with sly amusement. He knew that someone was bound to ask the question. He allowed himself to chuckle. Not because it was a terribly stupid and typical question, but because he loved to answer it. "Rubber. Gum. Bodies." He always paused here for dramatic effect. "Dead or living. Just as long as you get rid of them." He looked at the curious recruit.
The neophyte shifted in his chair nervously.
But the man in the yellow radiation suit knew better. Sure, he was building progress. Sure, he was at the forefront of the war against poverty. But more than that, he had a job, something that any other man from his background could only ever dream of obtaining.
Under other circumstances, going back to the place you once called home to "get rid" of the ones you once called your family would seem a bit cruel, if not outright heartless. But more heartless was the alternative. After all, it was a much more noble cause to kill to live than to live to die.
Progress.
The New City would replace the old, and the nation would continue striding towards a bright future. Then, the New City would become the Old and the generations to come would continue that progress.
Peace.
The squatters of the Old City were mindless savages that only knew how to subsist. They only knew greed and self-preservation. If they were left to run freely like the citizens of the free world, they would cause mass riots and hysteria. The lives of some for the lives of many.
Economy.
The squatters served no economic purpose other than to leech off the land that could otherwise be used for business and commerce.
The man in the yellow radiation suit could have cared less about progress. The thought of peace never even crossed his mind. And the only economy that concerned him was the one in his pocket. The lives of some for the lives of many. The squatters were the some. He was the many. Either way, regardless of what happened, everyone was bound to die. Why not end these people's pointless existence before it started spreading? He was a Cleaner because it made sense. Beyond that, nothing really mattered.
The proof was there, actually, in that he knew better than anyone else what he was doing. Because he'd lived the life of a squatter. He knew their hiding places, and he knew that they didn't have any shame. That was what the other Cleaners didn't realize. They seldom found any squatters because they didn't know the mind of a squatter. The squatters were the epitome of self preservation. The man in the yellow radiation suit knew this, and that was how he was able to find them.
He walked through all-too familiar streets and past all-too familiar landmarks. He entered all-too familiar hiding spots underneath rocks and inside the sewers and within the walls of the buildings themselves.
Ruthlessly, he released the terrible spout of fire on the unsuspecting vermin. Their eyes only widened as they realized that their end was now.
"Please! At least let the children live!" Yelled a woman. "Just let them live!"
Not an option.
"The lives of some for the lives of many!" Commander Blithe's voice was still fresh in his memory. "You don't get paid by the hour. You don't get paid by the month. You get paid by the amount of things you burn down! Every pound of rubber is five hundred cash. Every gallon of gum, six hundred. Every human body is two thousand cash. There's big money to be made here, boys, now make me proud!"
The man in the yellow radiation suit was on a rampage. Strangely, killing had come as naturally to him as breathing. And as he killed more, he allowed his legs to take him places where only his subconscious could lead him. Until he arrived at a place he hoped he'd never have to lay eyes on again.
He took off his yellow radiation helmet as salty tears welled up at his eyes. All of a sudden, he was overtaken by a feeling he thought he had rid himself of.
"Wesley?" An all-too familiar voice showered him with warm memories from behind. He didn't want to, he was sure, but he had to turn around. He had to see that face. He had to make sure.
"Dad." He let out the word in an inaudible sigh.
The man in front of him appeared unchanged. He still wore that scruffy beard with which he'd played as a child. He still wore those caring, sad eyes.
Not thinking twice, Wesley pressed down on the trigger on his incinerator, releasing a scathing bath of fire on the man that stood in front of him.
Progress.
He continued pressing down on the trigger, not completely certain of what he had just done, but certain that it was the necessary course of action.
Peace.
The lives of some for the lives of many. That was how it had to be.
Economy.
He continued releasing the fire until his incinerator ran out of fuel. Black smoke drifted away into a sad, red sky. Where once stood a great and noble man was now a mere pile of ashes.
Wesley felt a single tear run down his cheek.
Freedom.

If

2010-07-24T15:19:00.004-04:00

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or, being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with wornout tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on";

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch;
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run -
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man my son!

by Rudyard Kipling

Hello, this is me

2010-07-23T12:39:00.000-04:00

Hi, I'm Daniel Davalos, and I have an addiction.
It's an addiction that has torn me apart in the past; an addiction that is so insidious that living without it would seem like being incomplete. The funny thing is, should I tell you what my addiction is, you'll wonder why it's even a problem to have this as an addiction. I mean, it's not like I'm a druggie, or an alcoholic, or anything like that. Whatever, this is my public private journal, so I'm allowed to write whatever I want, right?
Hi, I'm Daniel Davalos, and I'm addicted to knowing.
Allow me to clarify.
I was raised in a Christian home, and ever since I remember, I've been following Christian values and I've been trying to look like I know what I'm doing. It wasn't until seventh grade that I finally realized what Christianity was about, and I decided to make my parents' faith my own. I guess you could say that that was when I got saved. Regardless, the whole "Christianity" thing has always been part of my life.
Let me backtrack a couple of years.
I was born impossibly; both of my parents were unable to have children, and countless surgeries and medical treatments had failed. It was out of this desperation that my parents decided to go to Israel to ask God for me. And lo and behold, God worked miracles, and I was born. I guess you could call me a miracle child.
A miracle child... the phrase makes me chuckle every time I hear it. Especially when it's applied to me. Because I look at myself, and I see that I'm nothing special. I'm no different from anyone else in that everyone else is also different. So how could someone so ordinary be a miracle?
Anyways, I digress.
I guess that the downside to having your parents say that you're a miracle child is that they expect something of you. It's like they expect you to be an awesome Christian; someone whose faith with change the world, or something. But that's the thing: because of my upbringing, I was forced to find validation through Christ.
But no one had ever told me what that meant; I was too young to figure it out. So I turned to knowledge. I figured that if I knew ABOUT God, I would automatically KNOW God. Not the case at all.
But I was too immature to know the difference, and knowledge slowly became my addiction.
Knowledge of God became my god, and having all the answers became my form of worship. The thing it, it's actually really easy to fool people. All you have to do is start with one little lie. Then you make yourself believe it. Then you live it out. It's the obvious evolutionary process.
People thought I knew Christ because I knew about him. They thought my faith was strong because I had all the answers. But that would be like saying that Wikipedia has a strong faith.
Once I decided to explore what Christianity actually meant, I realized what I was doing. And that's when I realized that I had to strive to know God personally.
But, as is the problem with any addiction, I still struggle. And I still seek validation from my knowledge, which is sad, because ever since I realized what I was doing, I tried to stop knowing things. So right now, my knowledge is small, and I have to make myself remember not to base my faith on such a weak foundation.

"Faith isn't believing because of what you know. Faith is believing in spite of what you know."

-Daniel Davalos

Wow, am I really that cocky that I would quote something that I said?
I guess so.
-Daniel

Wonderful, so wonderful

2010-07-16T13:53:00.001-04:00

People often wonder why the world is as it is. Everyone accepts the fact that the world is broken, that everything is not as it should be. Everyone acknowledges the fact that kids in Africa shouldn't be starving to death, and that infanticide shouldn't be happening in China. Deep down, everyone knows that every human being has some sort of value, and everyone knows that there is, in fact, in the words of Mike Donehey, "a whole different experience between looking into a person's eyes and looking into a dog's eyes." Everyone, deep down, knows that human beings were put on this earth for some purpose other than to survive. That's why everyone's obsessed with purpose and finding out their purpose.
But, if we were put on this earth to fulfill some sort of purpose, why did God put us in such a broken state?
If he truly is the God of the Universe, doesn't he have the power to right the wrong with the snap of his fingers?
Or is he just not willing to do it?
That brings up the question, "Why did God even create humankind?" Why did he create a creature that would eventually bring him so much pain that he, according to Genesis, felt sorry for having created us?
I've never really heard an answer to this question that completely satisfied me, but I guess that's just me being stubborn. So please, if anyone has the answer, you know what to do :)
Anyways, if we're at all familiar with the story of Genesis and the creation of mankind, we know that the world was perfect at one point. The Bible calls it a Paradise, a term often used to describe Heaven. According to biblical scholarship, back then, plants didn't have thorns, animals didn't need to eat each other, and resources aplenty were available to man. The catch: "Don't eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil."
Isn't it ironic, then, that our thirst for knowledge, the very thing that drives humankind to progress technologically, socially, and scientifically, was the very thing that cursed us? Brings a whole new dimension to the saying "ignorance is bliss."
After that, after man quit being perfect, the Bible literally says that God himself cursed us and the Earth. Don't believe me? Read it from the source:

"To Adam he said... 'Cursed is the ground because of you; through painful toil you will eat of it all the days of your life. It will produce thorns and thistles for you, and you will eat the plants of the field.'"

Genesis 4:17-18 (NIV, Paraphrased)

So that answers the question of why the world is broken. But then, it raises another question: If God is so loving, why would he curse the whole earth? Isn't there another way to solve the problem? Like some sort of diplomatic alternative?
You see, God is wise. That's the thing. He knew that if he took some sort of diplomatic alternative, generations onward would forget about the sin that their forefathers had turned into their inheritance. (Ever heard of the saying "History repeats itself?") Instead, God chose to be merciful; he chose to continue to allow us to have communion with him, and he chose to allow us to realize that we needed him.
Because, here's the thing, (again in the words of Mike Donehey) "imperfect man cannot realize his need for a savior if he lives in a perfect world."
Why would we want to have communion with God if we lived in a world that provided us with our greatest blisses? But God wants something else entirely. God wants something MORE for us. He doesn't just want us to live in perfection; he wants us to experience the love that only HE can provide.
If that doesn't spell love, I don't know what does.
There's something to think about.
God bless,
-Daniel

My recent adventures

2010-07-15T17:54:00.006-04:00

Hey I just wanted to share some pictures about my recent adventures in New York. They're kinda late, but... whatever.

A typical morning in the life of a New Yorker. My cousins Lili in the left and Jose in the right.

Soho. One of the coolest things ever.

Kind of artsy:)

Driving to church. You know what they say about traffic in New York? Yeah, it's all true. My cousins Chris in the left and Lili in the right.

Well, that's all I'm gonna post here. There's a lot more on my facebook, so if you wanna check that out, feel free.

When heroes fall

2010-07-15T12:56:00.000-04:00

Everyone falls. Everyone sins. It's a staple idea of Christian theology. "No one is good, no, not one."
But what happens when people who you look up to, people who you thought were incapable of the worst of sins... What happens when they fall? What happens when you build up your faith based on seeing how strong their faith was, only to be crushed when you find out that, hey, they're actually only human?
I recently found out that one of my favorite worship leaders--someone I've come to respect and admire as a man of God and honor--has fallen to sin. Not only that; he'd been living his life for the past half-decade concealing his sin.
I was dumbstruck.
I mean, here is this guy that obviously has one of the biggest hearts, and all of a sudden I find out that for a good part of his life, he's been living a double life. He's been living a lie.
Then came the introspection. I thought, "Wait a minute, isn't that the case for everyone?"
Everyone has been living a lie. Everyone sins, everyone falls, and no one wants to let anyone else know. Everyone wants to cover it up with words, actions, hoping that if they're good enough, they'll cancel out what they've done.
I mean, it's only natural. Humankind's first response to sin was to cover itself up with fig leaves so that God wouldn't see them.
Here's the deal: just because it's natural doesn't mean it's right. That's why Jesus came: to right the wrong. Because the last thing that God wants is a heart that's hiding behind fig leaves so that maybe He won't be able to see it for what it is.
And, you know what? It's easy to pass judgment. But only "he who is without sin may cast the first stone."
The thing is, as Christians, our identities do not lie in what we've done. Our identities lie in what's been done for us. We aren't Christians because we're able to go through the motions. That's not what saves us. What saves us is the work of Jesus Christ, and our acceptance of that work. That's why we can't pass judgment; a sinner who has repented is just as holy as a man who has never sinned.
One of the most decorated characters in the Bible was a blatant sinner. King David, yes, THE King David, was a liar, an adulterer, and a murderer. Yet somehow he found grace in God's eyes. It was because of his heart, not his actions.
Now, don't get me wrong, there will be a time for judgment, but that time is neither now nor is it ours.
So when heroes fall, know this: heroes are people, just like us. And just like us, they fall.
So instead of passing judgment on our fallen heroes, why don't we just pray for them?
Why don't we do everything we can to help them out?
When the Bible says to "not be a stumbling block for [our] brothers," it doesn't merely talk about causing others to sin. It also talks about not being an obstacle between the sinner and his forgiveness. Because when heroes fall, there is still forgiveness for them. But why would they want to run back to the house of the Lord when everyone there is ready to pass judgment on them?
Those are my thoughts for today.
God bless,
-Daniel

A moment of uncertainty, for the sake of a title:)

2010-07-15T00:44:00.000-04:00

I'm not ready to have any sort of groundbreaking theological discussion right now.
Lately, I've been feeling kind of vulnerable, kind of open to what the world has to throw at me.
I guess I've never really felt this way, and if I have, I've never really recognized it...
Anyway, I was just thinking about life the other day, and I realized just how easy it is to let your plans and your aspirations slip through your fingers and just let life take advantage of you. I mean, it's so simple, you know? It's so easy to say, "Golly-gee, I'm gonna do this and this and this, and nothing's gonna stop me!"
But when the push comes to shove, you don't go through with it.
Maybe it's because you get too caught up in the moment. Maybe it's because you can't catch up to the moment. Maybe you're living life just for the sake of it and what you set out to do gets thrown out the window... I don't know.
I just know that I want to get my act together...
But to do that, there's something that I have to get over.
Problem is, I don't know what that "something" is.
I guess that's what this post is about. I guess it's just a big word-vomit saying, "I DON'T KNOW!"
Because that's just it. I don't know. And I think I want to pretend like I do know, because that's gotten me nowhere. Maybe it's time to do some searching.
I mean, is it so bad that I don't know?
Anyways, that's me right now:)
As always, God bless,
-Daniel

This is my story

2010-07-07T17:07:00.001-04:00

My Vimeo channel:
http://bit.ly/dflm1

All of my life I've been pretty artistic. When I was very young I picked up drawing. I drew what I saw, always wondering why it was the way it was. I drew things that came to my head—events that I wanted to represent pictorially.

I guess I never drew just to clear my head, or just so that I could create a beautiful picture. I always drew to show and explain to people the story behind what was on the page. So naturally, at around ten years of age, I picked up comic books. The idea that stories could be told using pictures blew my mind! It was amazing how alive everything seemed, how raw the artist's feelings appeared when he put his vision of the story down on paper. Suddenly, it all made sense: I had to draw comic books! After all, I'd be able to combine my love of drawing with my desire for telling stories.

But after months and months of painful practice, I realized that that was just not to be. Making comic books was a long, tedious process that required more time from me than I wanted to spare sitting at a desk. That's something about me that's important to know: I hate just sitting. It's awful. Oftentimes I'll get up in the middle of class just because I get bored of sitting.

Regardless, I still wanted to tell stories. Not only that, I also wanted to show stories. I wanted people to see specifically what was playing through my head the way it was playing out and in the order in which it was playing out.

Around that time, my dad bought a videocamera. Not some fancy shmancy HD prosumer camera, but a cheap Panasonic camera that was probably smaller than my hand and had worse image quality than today's Youtube video. That was fine. I never really paid any close attention to it. But, as these things go, one day I got bored. I started playing around with the camera, and lo and behold: my first movie. Granted, it was an awful farce where I tied up small figurines with nylon and had them move around, coordinating them to what I now know to be a racially offensive voice-over, but the seed of cinema was planted. I would never be the same ever again.

Over the years, that seed grew. Whenever my cousin from Texas would come to stay at my house, we'd make movies about... well, everything. Our first epic was called “Swirly”, and it was an ill-coordinated martial arts adventure about two friends named Toyota and Subaru. Our second movie was called “Shootout”, a one-take, completely improvised deal where my cousin went around the house killing unseen enemies, Jason Bourne style. Our last film, “NipTips”, was a distorted dark comedy that propelled me to local stardom. For the first time in my grade, someone had made a movie that employed proper use of cuts and transitions. I was a star.

By then I realized that I had talent, if not a knack, for making movies. I realized that I loved it, and that it was the perfect marriage between pictures and stories. I found myself researching movies, looking up old Hitchcock classics, enthralled by how clean-cut, how simple, yet how effective the man was.

Once high school rolled in, I enrolled in a Broadcast and Video Production Class. The first year, I will admit, was awful. We went over simple basics with a class that couldn't tell the difference between a game of dominoes and Domino's Pizza. But I persisted. “Surely, there is more,” I thought.

I was right. I continued the class through sophomore year, where the dumb kids (for the most part) were weeded out and I was able to share my creative ideas with a classroom of people that actually cared. There, I cemented great relationships with people who shared my interests, and I came to know that filmmaking was where I was meant to be.

And that brings us to the present. Present-day me finds himself constantly writing scripts, always keeping in mind how he wants them to appear on-screen. He always watches movies, which inspire him to make movies, which forces him to watch more movie for inspiration. Interestingly enough, he's never seen the perfect movie. Every time he watches a movie, he finds something wrong with it; something that keeps it from achieving perfection. Maybe that's what drives him. Maybe he's striving to one day make the perfect movie that will satisfy him completely. Hopefully, he will make that happen.

Back :)

2010-06-09T22:02:00.000-04:00

Wow, haven't been here in a while...
Um, so yeah, summer started a couple of weeks ago and it finally hit me that I'm gonna be a junior next year. For some reason, my mind can't wrap around the fact that, sooner than later, I'll be done with high school and I'll be leaving everything (and everyone) that I've grown up with, and there's a good chance that I'll never see them again.
So, for now, I think it's time to go all out... I want to just spend time with my friends every day but I have this looming feeling that none of them actually like me... But then, what else could I have to offer?
Anyways, back to summer.
As usual, coming out of a routine has hurt my relationship with God. I have no concept of days or, for that matter, time in general, so I spend my days bumming out and thinking about the things that I could or should be doing. One thing that I actually am working on is getting fit. Already lost like seven pounds from just doing random exercises and eating right.
Is it possible to join the two? Like have mental Bible study while jogging or something like that?
Hm, there's a thought.
Getaway's coming up... I'm actually really excited about that; I've been mentally preparing myself for that since February. I think that it mostly has to do with the fact that last year's Getaway was the best week of my life, as well as when I really gained a heart for the lost.
After Getaway is New York, and I'm totally psyched about that. I really hope I love it, 'cause if I don't, I'll be really disappointed and I won't want to go to NYU anymore.
After New York is the FCA Retreat, which is going to be awesome. We've spent at least ten hours planning it so far, and everything is falling apart as if some sort of divine involvement were going on... There's another thought.
It's really nice that everyone's on the same page, and I'm really excited about the roles that I have in it (relationships with Christian friends, outreach, and more). I really think that God is planning to do something amazing through us this year, and I can't wait to see what it is.
I have a feeling that it has something to do with him telling me to wait in the past. Or, I mean, I really hope it does 'cause waiting isn't too easy for me.
Anyways, that's my life right now. I'll try to write more in the future. Promise.
God bless,
-Daniel

Life right now...

2010-04-20T23:08:00.000-04:00

Uncertainty looms near.
I feel like a sailor staring out at the horizon, everyday hoping to see that thin stretch of land, but only seeing more and more of that blue expanse with each passing moment.
My life has had a veil cast upon it and now the only things that I know for certain are those in my immediate future.
It's ok, I guess. It's just that, if you know me at all, uncertainty isn't something I can deal with too well. I mean, I guess I've been praying over it, and after I talked it over with one of my role models, I guess I got the gist of what I'm supposed to be doing, but it's so difficult to continue onward on blind faith alone.
I mean, with this whole thing with FCA next year and the seniors all leaving, I'm not entirely certain of what's going to happen. I'm excited, don't get me wrong, but there's just so much more growing that I feel I've left undone, and so much more knowledge that I wish the seniors would have passed down on me. I guess it's time to put on my own hiking boots and climb my own Mt. Sinai, have God give me my own vision for what he wants me to do. But sometimes I just feel like he's toying around with me, putting me in certain situations just to see what I'll do. Obviously it's not the case, but I mean...
I guess I'm just going to have to pray over it. Nothing else better to do, right?
I'll just have to have faith that God will prepare me for what's to come.
Apparently I'm in for a huge bombarding of mind nukes. I don't know. Let's see what happens.
God bless,
-Daniel.

Oh, Microsoft...

2010-04-03T23:03:00.000-04:00

So today, I officially became a Mac. That's right, I finally made the big leap and went and got myself a nice thirteen-incher. Wow, my mind is blown. The machine not only looks cool, but it works like a charm.

So here I am, moving all of my stuff from my old laptop to my Macbook, when all of a sudden, I realize something: all of the CDs that I ripped onto my old computer got saved as .wma files!
Now, here's what that means, just in case you're not too computer-savvy:
Computers save files in different file formats. Think of them as languages. Each operating system has unique languages: Windows has .wmv and .wma, Mac has .mov. But other than that, there are universal languages that can be used to share media (.mp3, .mp4), which are read by any operating system.
Therein is my predicament: since Windows saved my ripped CDs as .wma files, not the universal .mp3. What this means is that basically my music is rendered useless!
Immediately the cynic in me thought: "Oh, that's just Microsoft trying to make it hard for me to switch over!"
But then I realized how much this pertains to the Christian lifestyle.
Ok, not one of my absolute best segues, but this is what came to mind, you know?
ANYWAYS, I thought about how the Bible says that living the Christian life implies having to get rid of everything that you brought with you from your old life. The "out with the old, in with the new" thing.
And I thought about how, if I wanted to commit myself to being a Mac, I would have to start over. I would have to find all of my CDs and rip them the right way.
The metaphor that comes to mind is that of a building. When its foundations are crap, then no matter how much outside remodeling you do, it's always gonna be a crap building. Unless you get down to its core and tear it down, you won't be able to fix it.
Well, that's what I thought of. Weird, I know.
In any case, God bless,
-Daniel

The "Fast" Track (haha you'll get it soon enough)

2010-03-26T16:56:00.000-04:00

Thirty Hour Famine.
You collect money for poor kids in Africa, and then you fast for thirty hours.
Going into it, I figured it was just a thing to do: all of my other Christian colleagues were doing it, and it just seemed like the cool thing to do (not eating is NOT cool, by the way). So I guess that by peer-pressure I kinda suckered myself into participating? I mean, I was fine with the money collecting, I just didn't really know what I was doing when I got into the fasting aspect.
They showed us verses that talked about how to fast "correctly." But to me, it was just a casual thing. Now, I know I'm not the best Christian on the face of the planet, but does that make fasting for the heck of it alright?
Anyways, I did it, and at first, I wasn't really milking it for what it was worth. All I did was feel hungry.
But then I realized how much time I wasted eating, and I was able to devote a whole extra half-hour to Bible study! I realized that I could pray freely, and the fact that I didn't have food in my stomach felt... Liberating?
And then today I woke up in the best mood ever! Instead of going to lunch, we had an amazing acoustic worship set and Bible study, and I read Luke. Like I finished the whole book.
And even when I got a 64 on my chemistry test, all I could think was, "Oh well. You win some and you lose some." (It's not like I didn't study. Cause I did.)
Even not being able to sit with my best friend in French class cause we were being too disruptive (it's a huge deal, by the way) didn't affect me as much as I thought.
And I feel in communion with God, almost like giving up something for him, something as vital as food, gives me strength in other ways.
Don't get me wrong, there's still that inkling of hunger at the back of my head, but because I've been communicating with God throughout the day (I prayed during an AP World test. Not FOR the test, just cause I wanted to talk to God.) he's given me that will power that you see in the Weight Watchers commercials where they have hunger as like some red plush toy that a lady keeps on rejecting.
You know what? I feel like a lady in the Weight Watchers commercials.
Anyways, that's my word-vomit for the day.
God bless,
-Daniel

Hello Hurricane, You're NOT Enough (for my God)

2010-03-25T23:08:00.000-04:00

I've been watching the skies

They've been turning blood red

Not a doubt in my mind anymore

There's a storm up ahead.

Hello, hurricane, you're not enough

Hello, hurricane, you can't silence my love

I've got doors and windows boarded up

All your dead-end fury's not enough

You can't silence my love!

Every once in a while, a band comes out with a song that touches something inside of me, something that says, "Wow, I can totally relate to that!" Well, in the case of Switchfoot, that "every once in a while" is more like every other song. After having heard their latest album "Hello Hurricane", songs like Needle and Haystack Life and Mess of Me stood out, but not nearly as much as Hello Hurricane. And I think that it's the same for many people. The song strikes a fiber in peoples' hearts, to the point where it goes from "wow, I can relate to that!" to "wow, I'm living that!"

I heard the song a while back, but I didn't start to pick apart the lyrics until recently, and I realize how much this rings true in the Christian life. Right off the bat, the first two lines are completely universal. Christian or not, we've all had that feeling of looking out in the metaphorical horizon of our lives and realizing, "Uh-oh, there's trouble coming..." At first we think, "OK, maybe I'll be able to squirm my way out," but then trouble comes, and we know for a fact that we're in for a big one.

Here's what separates the men from the boys. Going along with the whole hurricane analogy, people carry out a certain course of action. Either they can cower in fear, they can rely on their own devices and try to ride out the storm, they can get swept away by the wind, or they can seek refuge in something greater than themselves.

Applied to the Christian life, the "something greater" is God. We have that chance of facing the storm because our base is something much greater than us. Our base is God.

WOW.

Once we realize that God is with us, we can say, "Hello hurricane, you're not enough."

With just a substitution of the word "love" with "God", the song takes on a different meaning:

Hello, hurricane, you're not enough

Hello, hurricane, you can't silence my God

I've got doors and windows boarded up

All your dead-end fury's not enough

You can't silence my God!

(Seeing as though Switchfoot is a band of Christians, it is safe to assume that they had something similar in mind when writing the song, though I can't speak for the band.)
It's so comforting for me to think that whenever a storm comes my way, I can say, "Hello hurricane. You can't silence my God." Nothing can silence my God.

Sometimes I think that Switchfoot knows my life. This song has become such a theme song that I imagine that if I had a show that would be what would play whenever I went on-screen.

Anyways, here's a link to the song. Enjoy.

God bless,

-Daniel

What is truth?

2010-03-25T17:05:00.000-04:00

"All truth is relative."

We've all heard that before. The thing is, the statement itself is flawed.

That's the first step toward realizing that there is such thing as an "Absolute Truth". Disproving the fact that "all truth is relative" is simple, and it only takes looking at the statement to realize it:

1. If all truth is relative, but there's two conflicting truths, that necessarily means that one of the two "truths" is real and the other one isn't. Or neither of them are. For example, a tree falls in the middle of the forest. One man was there to see it, and two other men weren't, but then they all meet at the forest to acknowledge that there is, in fact, a tree on the ground. The man who saw the tree falling says, "The tree fell." Another man says, "The tree got picked up by aliens and got put back on the ground." The last man says, "The tree never fell; it has always been like that." If we're going to accept the idea that truth is relative, then according to the three men's different perceptions, the tree did fall AND it got picked up by aliens AND it never fell. But, if two truths are contradicting, doesn't that mean that one of them is a lie? Can the truth be a lie?

2. "All truth is relative" in and of itself is an ABSOLUTE statement. But, if all truth is relative, and functioning under the idea of the statement, I believe that there is an ABSOLUTE truth, doesn't that mean that I'm right? But that contradicts the original statement of ABSOLUTE RELATIVE truth. Either that, or what I believe to be the truth is a lie, in which case all truth is NOT relative, because MY truth does not fit with the statement.

In that case, the correct statement would be "all perceptions of the truth are relative." The truth is one, but whether or not we perceive it to be true is another case entirely. If I'm blind and someone sticks his foot out in front of me and trips me, that won't be part of my perception. All I'll know is that an obstacle caused me to trip. But a third-person observer would note that a man, in fact, did trip me.

What about if I go in a room, memorize how the furniture is arranged, and exit the room, after which someone moves the furniture around and then puts it back to the way it was arranged. Then, if I go back in that room, will I know that the furniture has been moved around? No; it won't be part of my perception of the truth. But, again, a third-person observer would know the truth.

The recurring event, or hypothetical event, is that an unbiased, third-person observer would know the truth in both places. Whether or not I perceive what happens around me, in the continuum of events, things happened a certain way. If I drop a ball but there is no one else to see, that does not mean that I didn't drop a ball. That just means that everyone else is not an unbiased, unattached observer.

The truth, however, is still just one.

Davalos' Escapades

2010-03-18T23:05:00.000-04:00

Hey all. So pretty soon I think I'm going to start talking about my escapades in apologetics. It's going to be THE BOMB ON ICE. I hope. So, um... I guess be expecting that.
And remember, God loves you.
God bless,
-Daniel

The Season of the Oscar (Part 2)

2010-03-15T17:23:00.000-04:00

Dude, talk about a shocker.

Yeah, I'm still talking about this year's Oscars. I don't know if I can really get over how political the Academy is becoming. Don't get me wrong, I'm really excited that they didn't go with the hype this year and award Avatar with all the gold, but at the same time I wonder: Did they really think that The Hurt Locker was that much better? Are they going for Kathryn Bigelow because she's talented, or do they just like the fact that she's a woman? I mean, I consider myself to be well-versed in the field of film, and I was 110% sure that what I'd predicted to win would. Imagine my surprise when none of my scenarios played out.

But I guess that's how life goes. Sometimes we're really certain that we know exactly what's about to happen, and then our lives take a screwball-plot twist, and we're left wondering: "What the H-E-double-sippy-straws?"

When we look at all of the stories in the Bible, that's how God operated a lot of the times. Who knew that Moses, an uncharismatic Jew in the Pharaoh's court would be leading millions of slaves out of Egypt? Who knew that David, the weakest and smallest of all his brothers would go on to be the greatest king of Israel? Who knew that the Messiah would come in the form of a poor carpenter's son, as opposed to a warrior-king like everyone expected?

But it's in those moments of unexpected turn-of-the-tides that God's power shines the most. When you think about it, who but an amazing, powerful God would be able to use the weak to lead the strong?

That's why, if we're going to follow God's plan for our lives, we have to be prepared to face the unexpected. We have to be prepared to see the Moseses, Davids, Jesuses, even the Kathryn Bigelows of our time. Because a walk with God is not the safe route, and it's not the route in which we're in control.

There will be moments when we will wonder what God is doing. Trust me, I've had my fair share of those. But when we can be patient and carry on, and see the "big picture", and I do mean BIG, then it makes following God all that much better.

As always, God Bless,

-Daniel

The Season of the Oscar

2010-02-02T21:16:00.000-05:00

This time is one of the most important seasons of the year for me. That's right, it's Oscar Season, and just today the Academy has released the list of nominees for the 2010 Academy Awards. Here's the link.

I'm really glad to see District 9 on the list for best movie. Personally, District 9 was my favorite movie of 2009, and what sold me was originality. Rarely do I ever come out of the movie theater thinking, "Wow! There's something I'd never seen before!"
And that's exactly what Neill Blomkamp was able to do with the movie. (And for all you Avatar fans out there, yeah, it was a good movie, but original? Not so much.) District 9 also touched on many subjects of the human condition: xenophobia, greed, pride. Not to mention, the script was great, the dialog felt natural, and the camerawork was solid (and I'm not usually a huge fan of shaky-cam.).
In any case, here are my predictions for the Oscars:
Best Picture: Avatar
Best Director: James Cameron
Best Original Screenplay: Inglourious Basterds
Best Adapted Screenplay: District 9
Let's see how it plays out.

Looking Back

2010-01-26T20:01:00.000-05:00

These past few days, I've found myself looking back at some of the blog posts that I put up eons ago. I must say, I had no idea how much I've changed. I feel like my writing style, what I write about, and my standpoint have changed dramatically.
Back then, I wrote as if I actually knew what I was talking about. Looking back, I wrote in a way that completely pretentious, and I wrote about topics that were completely over my head. I also couldn't help but notice that the way I wrote, I came across as extremely cynical about life in general.
But then suddenly something happened, and I started writing about what I knew: my life.
I started writing about what mattered to me, and how God was constantly there, showering me with blessings the whole time.
What exactly happened to me, then? What made my heart change so much?
I can't say that I'm completely certain. I know that God has been working in my heart and I've been able to let go of a lot of the pride that held me back. I'm actually the most humble person I know. Haha. Small joke.
I've become more easygoing, more chill, and I like it. So whatever it is that God's been doing to me, I just want him to keep going, because, to be quite honest, I've never felt as good about my relationship with him.
In any case, that's all I have to say for right now.
God bless,
-Daniel

Guest Blogger

2010-01-26T19:30:00.000-05:00

Hey, so I don't know if anyone remembers, but I talked about doing a guest blog a couple of weeks back. Here's the "article" (can you call it that?) that I did for Andy Darnell's blog.
It's called "God is Kind of Amazing". Enjoy.

What can I do but smile?

2010-01-25T22:47:00.000-05:00

(I'm really sleepy right now, so forgive my terrible writing.)

Usually, when I get back from retreats or mission trips, I come back to the "real world" with a bitter taste in my mouth because I know that my "God high" is bound to quickly fade away.

So when I was coming back home from Fastbreak not too long ago, I was having one of those bipolar, bitter-sweet moments where I was glad to be able to see my parents again, but at the same time, I didn't want to leap back into the troubles of the world around me.

What was strange, though, was that I didn't come back with any sort of "God high". Instead, I came back home with the feeling that the world around me was falling apart, but I found happiness. Needless to say, I'd never experienced anything like that before. I felt like, even though I had tests to take, homework to do, and books to read, I had God backing me up, and that just made me happy.

What's even more strange is that I still have that happiness inside of me. I look at people, and I can't help but smile and think, "Wow, that person was wonderfully and fearfully made by God. He is not just a white, black, Hispanic, gangster, nerd, jock, whatever, but he is a person. A human being with a soul and a spirit created specifically by God."

To be honest, I've never looked at people like that before. Similarly, every time I face some sort of challenge, I smile and think, "Wow, God created me to be right here, right now. No matter what happens to me, he is by my side."

When I fall into that mindset, what can I do but smile? What can I do but feel God and be thankful for who he is and for what he's made me?

I know that what I've just described sounds a lot like a "God high", but truthfully, it's not. It feels like something much deeper than that. I went to Fastbreak, and something inside of me changed. I don't know what God did to my heart over that long weekend, but something about me is different.

And what can I do but smile?

God bless,

-Daniel

Madness? THIS IS JESUS!

2010-01-19T20:20:00.000-05:00

Why do I believe in God?
Why don't I believe in Zeus, or Odin, or some other god?
What sort of logical reason is there that convicts me to believe in God over everything else?
That's the thing. What does "logical" mean? Can we really pin the word "logical" to God? When you think about it, you can't prove him wrong. But at the same time, how can you prove him right?
I was talking about it with a friend the other day. We were talking about how easy it is to doubt God, and to doubt his existence. It's so easy to let the conventional worldly knowledge that we acquire through our experiences seep into our faith. That's why it's easy to try and rationalize God, and let the knowledge we have of God become our god. But that's it: you can't rationalize God. How can you rationalize something that's beyond time and space?
At the same time, how can you believe in it? To be honest, it's so easy to believe in something and be convicted to believe in it simply due to the fact that there's no way to prove it wrong.
Personally, I will never be able to explain my faith to anyone.
Rather, God gives me that faith, and he reinforces it when I see things that shouldn't happen in a logical scope.
And boy, have I seen things.
For example, a lot of people have said that people often convince themselves that there is something out there, thus releasing dopamine into your bloodstream and making you happy when you worship God. That's why not everyone feels that ecstatic when they worship God. That's why there's usually a group of people who have psyched themselves to the point of tears, and then there's a larger majority that wants to believe that there's a God, but theirs is a conviction not strong enough to tell their brains to release dopamine.
It's a solid argument. But there's a problem: if it were so, what I'm about to talk about makes no sense. Or I'm not telling the truth and I believe that God is so minute that I have to lie to make him look good. In which case this whole blog would have no reason to be because I'd just be consciously wasting my time on something that gets me no satisfaction or has no purpose.
This weekend, I went on this deal called Fastbreak with Student Venture, the same people that hosted Getaway. Fastbreak was basically a mini-Getaway: there was praise, worship, speakers, fellowship, and laser tag. The whole shebam.
Anyway, the weekend started off like your conventional weekend youth retreat. You know, there's singing, dancing, a small number of people saying that God is moving their hearts, or he's convicting them to do something, whatever. And, you know, it went on like that into the second night, when I felt that God was really showering me with immense joy that I couldn't explain for the life of me.
But then. The third night.

The worship started and immediately I felt that something was odd. I started looking around. What I saw was the most beautiful, heartbreaking sight I have ever seen: Everywhere people were jumping and dancing with joy, people were hugging in reconciliation, people were crying their hearts out.
The phrase that pops out is "beyond comprehension". I looked at some of my friends and they, some of the studliest, manly-men I know, were having man-hug bro sessions, everyone crying and praying for each other. It was just so beautiful! And what could I do but smile? What could I do but smile at the wonders of God? What could I do but smile at the thought that God was moving inside each and every one of these people's hearts. But what really got to me was the magnitude.
How does that even happen?
How do you get three hundred plus people to feel so much emotion? Any theories of dopamine logic crumble at the sight of God at work.
So why do I believe in God?
I have seen things not explainable by human logic. I have experienced feelings that I can't explain or, for that matter, verbalize.
I believe in God because there's no way, with everything that I've gone through, that he's not there.
God bless,
-Daniel

Hello All

2010-01-14T21:22:00.000-05:00

Hello all. So I guess I just wanted to announce that I'll be a guest blogger sometime soon on Andy Darnell's blog. This guy is an amazing servant and a deacon at the church I go to. So check him out whenever you get a chance.
God Bless,
-Daniel

Wait... You Won't Do It

2010-01-10T20:22:00.000-05:00

Sometimes God does things in our lives that leave us scratching our heads.

The first time I remember him doing something like that in my life was back in the summer of '09, when I went to Getaway and God made me eat my pride. The second time I ever remember something similar happening to me was this Saturday morning.

I was at this year's FCA Winter Leadership Retreat (or nonretreat, as it got officially cancelled due to the 'snow'), and they had commissioned us to pray for an hour at an open chapel in a local church. Before we started praying, they told us to pray for our leaders, our purpose, and about choosing leaders for next year.
For a while I had been telling God that I was ready. I was equipped with the knowledge and the willingness to be a leader next year. But being the good Christian that I am, I finally remembered that I was actually supposed to act according to God's will.
So I changed my prayer a little. I said, "God, please, just tell me what you want from my life. What do you want me to do with my life?"
But I didn't get an answer.
That's when things started getting a little ridiculous. My prayer changed from asking God to tell me, to asking God to show me. I said, "God, if you want me to do this thing, knock the pew over."
Again, God didn't knock anything over.
So I added on to my prayer. I said, "OK, God, if you don't want me to be a leader, knock this pew over, make it bounce, and then knock it over again."
Looking back, I realize that I made the "no" sign seem harder than the "yes" sign, almost as if it would've taken God more effort to say "no" to me. But instead, he didn't do anything. I was almost willing to pray to God and ask him, "If you do want me to be a leader, just don't do anything." But after realizing how stupid I was being, I gave God the space to answer my prayer on his own terms.
As soon as I did that, I realized that God had been answering my prayer the whole time. I just didn't have the patience to like the answer. "Just wait," he said to me.
Just wait.
Boy, talk about frustrated. No, I wasn't gonna wait. God, if you want me to do this thing, tell me. If not, tell me. But just give me a concrete answer!
As if on cue, our hour of prayer was over, and our leaders were telling us that it was time to go. I walked out of the chapel and saw that there was a group of boys hanging around an offering table. Among them was the president of FCA, the one they call Brent Perkins.
"Meester Brent?" I said to him, speaking in the common foreign accent that I address him by. "Can I speak to you real quick?"
With the patience of a thousand DMV workers and the beauty of a thousand Matt Damons, he said, "sure."
So I started talking to him about my experience. "I just feel like this whole time I've been asking God to tell me what to do, and the whole time he's been saying to me, 'Wait.'"
"What's the problem?" he asked.
"Well, it's just really frustrating to not get an answer!" I confessed.
"But why are you frustrated?" I must admit, I hate it when people can disarm me with just a few words. Why was I frustrated? He continued, "It just means that he has better things in store for you."
How true. I was so blinded by my urge to get an immediate answer, that I failed to see the many things that God was teaching me.

Practice what you preach: So long I had been telling people that everything was on God's time, not ours, but I failed to listen to myself.
God answers you whether you like the answer or not: For the longest time, I had been complaining that God wasn't answering my prayers. But I finally realized that it wasn't that he didn't answer my prayers, but rather, that I didn't like what he had to say to me.

But how wonderful it was when I realized what God had been doing with me this whole time. And how wonderful it is to know that he still works, whether or not we like his answer.

God bless,

-Daniel

God's Politics

2010-01-07T18:09:00.000-05:00

So I recently started reading this book called "God's Politics" by Jim Wallis. It looks like an interesting read and I think I'll be doing a quick recap of every chapter that I read. So far, I've gone into the introduction and read some cool stuff, talking about how, in a world where Christianity is used as a political device by the right and is virtually ignored by the left, people always seem to categorize God as a Democrat or a Republican.

To start off, Wallis asks a daring question: "Why can't we talk about religion and politics?"
He begins with a small background of his writing career, and then he starts talking about the different traps that politicians today fall into when they try to say, "God is on my side."
He goes on to quote Abraham Lincoln, saying, "Our task should not be to invoke religion and the name of God by claiming God's blessing and endorsement for all our national policies and practices... [Instead], we should pray and worry earnestly whether we are on God's side."
He also brings up a lot of questions about what morality means to Americans, talking about how "family values" in this day and age generally mean anti-abortion, anti-homosexuality, but that we rarely focus on those moral issues that plague our country even more, such as poverty.
Additionally, Wallis talks about his discontent with the ideology that states that if you're not one one side of the political spectrum, then you must be on the other. He talks about how, historically speaking, people have said that it is the duty of Christians to vote for a certain president, and asks if we are really looking at presidential plans from a Biblical perspective.
From what I can tell, this seems like an interesting read, and I'll definitely be keeping you updated on any snippets of information that I find pique my interest.
God bless,
-Daniel

It's Been Too Long

2010-01-06T22:48:00.000-05:00

Hey. So, I meant to update a little bit earlier, but circumstances haven't been on my side as of lately. But here's some of the stuff that's been going through my mind recently:

2010. The prospect of finally facing a double-digit year in this millennium is both scary and comforting. When I think of the new year, I can't help but think about the past; about all of the blessings that God has put in my life. But at the same time, about all of the mistakes that I committed.

I can't help but think about the great relationships that I've cemented in 2009: I met some incredible people, and I got closer to some of my friends. 2009 was tumultuous, both relationship-wise and spiritually. 2009 was the first time I truly experienced the joys of the drama of the opposite sex. But all in all, it's helped me to go back to God and just say, "God, I don't know what to do." It's a cathartic feeling when you realize that the weight of the world doesn't rest on your shoulders, but that long ago, the Son of Man put it on his.

This past year really helped me see a lot of things, and put a lot of things into perspective: my standing with God, and His standing overall. I've grown immensely, and after having crossed a one-year-long spiritual desert, everything finally seems to make sense.

I can't help but look back at those times when I wondered what God was doing. I can't much say I can explain his motives right now, but I can say that it worked.

I'm still struggling with some of the shadows of my past, but now I know how to deal with it. And I know that I don't have to have all the answers. I'm finally falling in love with God again, and it feels great.

But when I look at the number 2010, it's impossible for me to only think of the past. I look at myself, and I say: it's time to get your act together. The past fifteen years of my life have consisted of constant slacking off, and I'm tired of it. It's a behavior that has destroyed much of my life, and I'm ready to shed that.

I look at myself in the mirror and I realize that it's time to do something about what I see. I've started on this spiritual/physical journey called "100 Days of Heck". It's an exercise program that consists of starting off every session of physical activity with a word of prayer, based on the idea of strengthening your physical body at the same time as your spiritual life.

Three days into it, I can only think of one word: pain. Everything hurts, but I guess that's the price to pay. I'll be sure to keep you updated on that.

The dawn of a new year has also helped me to think about who I am right now compared to who I wanted to be a year ago. The song "This is Your Life" by Switchfoot comes to mind. I've realized that I allowed the spiritual desert to interfere with my duties as a small group leader, and I'll be making it up to my small group this year.

In the end, I have to remember that everything I do I do for God's glory.

"Therefore, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do everything for God's glory." -1 Corinthians 10:31

God bless,

-Daniel

Madness?

2009-12-06T00:44:00.000-05:00

Madness is living out your life doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting a different outcome every time.

Madness is trying to be the person your sins, your addictions, and your afflictions say you are, when in reality you're lost and everything is out of control and you know it.

Madness is being so addicted to something that you can't live without it, but it's so out of reach that you can see it slipping away even as your body withers and turns into dust.

But the worst madness is living in a desert when you've experienced the ocean.

The worst madness is reaching a place in your life when you know that you are no longer where you once were, and you want to go back to the times when everything made sense because you didn't need to make sense out of anything, but you have absolutely no idea how to go back because the path you've taken has only gotten you stuck in the quicksand with no way out.

And even as you travel through the desert, you hold on to that glimmer of hope because you know that you've experienced its effects before. And all you know how to do is hold on because you know that if you let go, you will only sink back into that cancer that is so welcoming and cold.

But even as your knuckles turn white from holding on so hard, you realize that you are only a child who needs his Father, and only after you cry out to Him do you realize that you knew the way out all along, but you were so caught up in being what your sins said you were that you forgot who you truly were.

You are a child of God by his grace.

Which Jesus?

2009-11-28T21:35:00.000-05:00

Sometimes I wonder why there's so much corruption within Christianity.

Like, if the God that we believe in is the God of all the universe, who holds the whole concept of reality in his hand, who is above and beyond time, space, and being, then why do we continue to be so stubborn? I mean, if we love Jesus, why do we also like to make him sad by sinning? Why do we like to go against His will by corrupting what he wants from us?

I think that, aside from man's sinful nature, which gives us an inborn predilection to sin, it has to do with which Jesus we first believed in. And I don't mean to say that there are multiple Jesuses, per se. More like, there's many interpretations of Jesus out there, some more wild than others. But there's a particularly lofty Jesus that Christians like to believe in, a Jesus who doesn't require stepping out of our comfort zones and is instead overly convenient to believe in.

That Jesus is Jesus the historical figure: a kind and gentle man who lived over two millenia ago in Judea, and who travelled throughout the land performing miracles and raising the dead. Believing in this Jesus only requires us to follow the teachings of a man. While this is part of who Jesus was and what his ministry on Earth was, this isn't at all the complete picture. While it's A Jesus, he's not THE Jesus that Christians are supposed to believe in and love. If there's not spiritual conviction, or if spiritual conviction is being replaced by intellectual conviction, then there's nothing. Because without that spiritual conviction, all we have to trust is the flesh.

Therein lies many people's struggle with sin. I'm not saying that that is the one reason why people struggle with sin, but I do believe that it's one of the reasons why repentance sometimes feels false. I feel like it's one of the reasons why many believers don't feel bad when they're caught in a trap of constant sin.

Jesus the man is the Jesus that was. But we're called to believe in the Jesus that is. The Jesus that I believe in is not only an honorable man who lived in Judea, but also the Jesus who will be the end to all hope. Not because he will abolish the concept of hope, but because when he's here, my hope will be fulfilled and my faith will be my eyes. Here, in fact, is the other part of Jesus that many Christians fail to acknowledge:

"I saw heaven standing open and there before me was a white horse, whose rider is called Faithful and True. With justice he judges and makes war. His eyes are like blazing fire, and on his head are many crowns. He has a name written on him that no one knows but himself. He is dressed in a robe dipped in blood, and his name is the Word of God. The armies of heaven were following him, riding on white horses and dressed in fine linen, white and clean. Out of his mouth comes a sharp sword with which to strike down the nations. 'He will rule them with an iron scepter.' He treads the winepress of the fury of the wrath of God Almighty." (Rev. 19:11-15 NIV)

The Jesus that we are called to believe in is not a passive man, but a living God.

He lives in glory and power, and his holiness is surpassed by nothing. When we learn to believe that Jesus is that God, then we fully realize that the God that we believe in is at a league that transcends everything that we can comprehend. And then we are almost forced to love him, and to glorify him, and to lift his name above all things.

There's my two cents for today. Sorry about the gap.

God bless,

-Daniel

Nominal Christians

2009-09-03T19:54:00.000-04:00

So here's what I'm thinking right now:

It is much harder to evangelize nominal Christians than it is to evangelize to, say... worshippers of Hrothgar, the rain god.

What I mean is, sometimes some people have very distorted views on what being Christian is, and they are unwilling to change those views because a.) that is what they have grown up knowing, so it must be right, b.) they want to adjust Christianity to their own lifestyles and beliefs, or c.) they don't know any better. And we all know unhealthy that can be.

Now you're thinking, what brought this up, in the first place?

Well, earlier today I was talking to a buddy of mine, let's name him Gustavo de Reyes*, and he was telling me about how another buddy of ours, let's name him Aramaki Tsuyosa, has a very unique view on the concept of Hell. My buddy Gustavo even said, "He quoted scripture to get his point across."

You know, I started thinking, "How does a Christian deal with that?" I mean, there's a deep stubbornness to that, and, you know, with all due respect, an inability to read the scriptures for what they are: the word of God.

So, then, how would I react to Aramaki if that was me in that situation, instead of Gustavo?

All I could think to say was, "You know, in those cases you just have to treat people with love." And yet, at the same time, what is love? Is it letting that conversation opener slide in order to avoid any possible negative feelings? Like, I'm sure that not believing in Hell won't send you to Hell, but there's some basic concepts that are steeped in the existence of Hell. For example, if there is no Hell, then what did Jesus come to save us FROM?

So, in that case, would the loving thing be to assert that?

Again, it's all about the fine line between "love thy neighbor" and all of Leviticus.

In any case, how does this all tie into professing to nominal Christians?

Nominal Christians have a view of Christianity that is wrong to the basic core. In other words, they don't believe that believing in Jesus as our savior requires us to love him, and that that love leads to obedience, and that that obedience leads to actions.

Sometimes, all it takes is telling them what being a Christian really means. You know, they might be completely wrong, but might be relieved when we tell thim what it's REALLY about.

Or not.

In any case, the key factor is the "love thy neighbor" concept.

And that was my word of the day.

God bless,

-Daniel

*Names have been changed to protect the identity of the individuals.

Passionate Christianity, 1st FCA Lesson

2009-08-30T23:03:00.000-04:00

Ask a volunteer to open us in prayer.

1. Question:
a. Ask everyone what the word "Christian" means to them.
b. Ask everyone why they believe they are/aren't Christians.

2. How to become a Christian
a. READ John 3:16
"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, so that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life."
b. ASK: According to the Bible, what does it take to become a Christian?
c. ASK: What does becoming a Christian imply?
i. READ John 15:16
"You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you to go bear fruit--fruit that will last. Then the Father will give you whatever you ask in my name."
ii. Point out that "bearing fruit" does not mean "pointing people to Christ"
1. READ 1 Corinthians 3:6
"I planted the seed, Apollos watered it, but God made it grow."
2. If God makes the seed grow, then we are not leading people to Christ.
d. ASK: What does "bearing fruit" mean?
i. READ Galatians 5:22-24
"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature with its passions and desires."
ii. Point out that the verse basically says that if you truly are a Christian, you exhibit these qualities.
e. ASK: Doesn't that mean that to be a Christian, all you have to do is follow that set of commands?
i. READ Romans 1:5
"Through him and for his name's sake, we received grace and apostleship to call people from among all the Gentiles to the obedience tha comes from faith."
ii. Point out that we don't obey in order to become Christians, but true faith leads to obedience.

3. Question:
a. Ask everyone if their views on Christianity are still the same.
b. Calling (?)

Ask a volunteer to close us in prayer.

Back To School!

2009-08-11T21:39:00.000-04:00

Alright so today was the second day of school and I am more excited than I have ever been to even say that... huh.
But anyways, I'm just so on fire for God right now that it's not even funny.
After having gotten back from the FCA Leadership retreat, I had such a great time and I'm so pumped. It's really amazing to see how God works through all of his children. Even if we are 15, 16 years old. I never really knew how much I could grow in one weekend.
But now it's almost Friday, which means my first FCA event with the whole membership as a leader... this is really exciting. And it doesn't help to take away from my ecstatic-ness that I have the best small group ever known to mankind.
Anyways I'm going through a melange of feelings right now. What do you call those? Hormones?
But I've been reading through Corinthians and I really recommend it. It teaches leadership in a decadent world... sorta like what America need right now. I'm gonna delve into Hebrews soon, so I'll let you know how that goes.
Alrighty. I just felt like I should say something cause I've been kinda slacking off on keeping anyone posted.
God bless,
-Daniel.

Changed by the Past

2009-07-30T22:06:00.000-04:00

WOW. Long time no see, huh? Literally, my two posts this month have been on the first and last (well, second to last) days of July. Sorry about that, but I've just been really busy with work and whatnot.
But enough of my unsatisfactory excuses.
What this post is REALLY about is something that came to my mind at work today.
I was washing paint off some bowls and I started to let my mind wander. And I started thinking about how my past decisions influence my present. I started thinking about how different my life would be right now had I decided to study for that one test. Or had I decided to get my act together in that one class.
I started thinking that my life would have been so much different if I had just made the right choice here, or the other there. And then it hit me: all those times everyone kept telling me to make the right decisions now, because they would influence my life later, I realized how right they were. And I realized how, if I had only listened to them, so many things would be much easier RIGHT NOW.
But then, I realized the sovereignty of God. Because, had I taken those 'right' decisions, my life wouldn't have been the same. But the point in life in which I find myself now is so much more wonderful than I could've ever imagined. I never pictured myself as an FCA leader: I was the most shy and reserved kid ever. I never imagined myself being so involved with youth group, and I never thought that some of the best friends that I could have would also be great mentors and accountability partners.
But God thought that it would be a good idea to use my bad decisions to lead me to a place where I would be that much more susceptible to him. And now I shower in blessings. Everywhere I turn, there are blessings.
Now, can I say that I am sure that making the 'right' decisions would've led me to a state of idle or lukewarm Christianity? No way. But, if nothing else, this made me realize God's sovereignty.
And his love.
God bless,
-Daniel.

After God's Own Heart

2009-07-01T23:12:00.000-04:00

So, if you didn't know (and you shouldn't, unless you stalk me/I've told you), my mom goes to this Bible college called Berea Bible College, every Tuesday and Thursday, and whenever I can/don't have small group, I tag along.
Anyways, yesterday, the teacher of her Evangelism class touched on a subject that I had never really thought about.
He started off the class by reading from the book of Galatians. And the exact verse that he read was Galatians 1:10, which says:
"Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ." (NIV)
Then he went on to ask what went through our minds when we talked to people about Jesus.
He asked if we were thinking about those people, about how hard their lives were and how they could find peace through Jesus Christ.
Or if we were thinking about ourselves. If we only did God's work in search of Heavenly rewards. (Which is a lie, by the way, because it's the Holy Spirit who brings people to Christ, not us.)
He went on to say that one of the problems with modern evangelism tactics is the fact that people do it for all the wrong reasons. And when your heart is in the wrong place, the results are less than what they could be if your heart is in the right place. Now, don't get me wrong, people may still come to Christ, even if the person who shares Christ with them is wrong. That just shows God's grace.

But if all of our hearts are in the right place when we do as God commands, can you imagine how much greater the results might be?

The fact of the matter is that we shouldn't be telling people about Jesus because we feel sorry for them. And we shouldn't tell them about Jesus because we think we'll earn some sort of heavenly reward for it.

But we should do it because Jesus commanded it, and we seek to please God.

See, only when we figure out that our hearts should be in pleasing God can we begin to do as God commands the way He commands.

Otherwise, we may "gain" as many souls as we want (look at Joel Osteen), but will we really be pleasing God?

For that same reason, I think, we MUST ABSOLUTELY preach the truth when we talk to people about Christ. We can't evangelize and not talk about man's sin, no matter how much the world doesn't want to hear it.

Christianity isn't about preaching what people WANT to hear. It's about truth.

With that in mind, we aren't here to disparage people. Just read 2 Timothy 2:24.

We need to reflect Christ. Otherwise, we're living the Christianity that Ghandi described when he said "I like your Christ, but I do not like your Christians."

There's something to think about.

May God bless you.

-Daniel

Being Pure

2009-06-19T19:22:00.000-04:00

Proverbs 4:23-27 (NIV)
"Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life. Put away perversity from your mouth; keep corrupt talk far from your lips. Let your eyes look straight ahead, fix your gaze directly before you. Make level paths for your feet and take only ways that are firm. Do not swerve to the right or the left; keep your foot from evil."

Recently, I realized just how hard it is to remain pure, especially when we try to do it by ourselves. I realized just how weak our own human breaking points were, and how easily our wills could be bent.
Don't get me wrong, there's a bunch of people with apparently strong wills, and they can endure a whole lot of punishment. But, generally speaking, our minds tend to go toward what is perverse and unsightly to God.
So, upon this realization, I decided that it would be a good idea to put a parental control on my computer. Now, I know that it's not much of a control if I know my own password, but I figure that if I put strong enough settings, and a harsh enough punishment for breaking those settings (my internet shuts down for an hour), then it can be of some help.
Now, I know, trust me, I've heard all those things that preachers say about remaining pure, how, if you just keep Jesus on your mind all the time, then you should have no problem. I mean, I'm pretty sure that just about anyone who's ever gone to a church has heard that cliché.
But as much as I know that it works if I keep Jesus on my mind at all times, realistically speaking, it is very hard to keep Jesus on your mind when you're in the mood for going to those "questionable" sites, if you catch my drift.
So it's not that I don't trust God to keep my eyes pure, it's that, as the Word says, I'm staying away from temptation by keeping temptation away from me.
If you want the link to download the blocker that I'm using, which is called Blue Coat K9, just click on the different-colored link that says Blue Coat K9.
And, as always,
May God bless you.
-Daniel

Twitter Troubles and Lipton Addictions

2009-06-17T17:03:00.000-04:00

So, I'd been thinking about getting a twitter quite recently. I figured it'd be a cool way to communicate with the peeps, you know, and I'd post how I'm feeling at specific times and whatever...
But then I realized that I have no peeps and it'd be a waste of web space, so...
Anyways, enough of that.
As you can probably tell, this is one of those blog entries of mine that don't really carry much intellectual value, but I just felt like talking about how life is going right now.
Basically, life right now is... well, it could be worse. I kinda feel bad cause of something that happened earlier this morning (I don't wanna talk about it), and then I started thinking about how much I suck at life. And I know I shouldn't think like that cause, you know, I am God's masterpiece and all that, but it's one of those things that are hard to shake off...
Oh, and I was doing so well...
Anyways, if you know me, you've probably found out about my recent Lipton addiction. Here's a bit of news: the addiction lives on. No surprise there. I actually just finished off a gallon. It's starting to get unhealthy, and I'm kinda jittery cause I think my parents may have hid the twelve packs from me.
Ah, well. What are you gonna do, right?
In any case, that's me right now.
Have fun making fun.

God Made Me Eat My Pride

2009-06-13T16:23:00.000-04:00

So I just got back home yesterday from pretty much one of the best experiences in my life. That's right, it was Getaway, which is like a week-long youth conference put together by Campus Crusade. It was a time of revival, worship, evangelism, and yes, the beach.
The speakers were awesome, the seminars were very interesting, and the worship was led by Tenth Avenue North, 'nuff said. And I gotta say, in the midst of all the learning and praising God, He taught me so much more than just what the speakers talked about.
One of the most inspiring events that came to pass there was the instant transformation of a new friend of mine, Joe Averageguy*. It really opened my eyes to the wonders that God can perform through just about anyone. I mean, being an eight-year born-again Christian, I figured that my spiritual experience counted for something, and that I should easily be able to lead others to the feet of Jesus. And if not, I should be better at it than this Joe Averageguy dude, who became a Christian on the second day of the conference.
Man, was I wrong.
On the first day of outreach, Joe and I started off in the same evangelism group, but because of a disagreement in methods, we branched off. I figured that I knew the better way to talk to people about Jesus because of my multiple years as a Christian. I also almost ignored Joe's suggestions completely just because he was a Christian n00b.
Needless to say, that day was very much discouraging. At the end of the day, instead of getting to talk to people about my Lord and Savior, I got a group of extremely handsome females to think that I'm some sort of creep, some evil glares, and just outright rudeness. Joe brought someone to tears.
I didn't get it. "Shouldn't my experience mean that I'm better suited for this stuff than my friend over there?"
I was never really jealous of Joe, per se. More than that, I was a bit fed up with God. It all came to the point that, on that first day, I quickly decided to give up and throw in the towel.
Then the second day of outreach came around.
The "hook", if you will, going with the whole being fishers of men analogy that Jesus used, that we used was this huge medieval battle. They had a bunch of the guys from the conference make weapons and armor out of cardboard and duct tape and they went all-out. And just as our leaders had said, this attracted a bunch of people, but they quickly left right when the battle ended. They didn't even give us a chance to talk to them about Jesus.
Ok, that was pretty discouraging. But it only meant that we would have to step out of our comfort zones a little. So it started. The whole conference, all three hundred or so kids started going around, spreading the good news.
Basically the same thing started happening as with the first day, so I decided to group up with Joe to see what he did to get people to talk to him.
Still, no responses.
I was more than fed up. Everyone I talked to was either already Christian (dang Christians, get out of there!) or they just didn't wanna talk (you know who you are, stinkin' redneck).
So the day wore on, and before I knew it, it was time to go back to the bus. So me and a buddy of mine (hi) started walking back, and I kept telling him how fed up I was.
That's when I saw it: a shiny, glistening, red and white cross left over from the battle. "This'll be interesting," I thought. I decided that I was kinda mad, so I just took the cross, hitched it on my shoulder, and started walking.
A couple of minutes passed and the thing started getting really heavy, but, for some reason, I just kept walking with it. And I started forgetting about comparing myself with Joe Averageguy. My focus was on getting to the bus.
Then, as we were walking past some umbrellas, this guy, apparently a basketball coach or something, along with his girls' basketball team (score!) noticed my cross, and he asked me, "Were you part of that battle?"
"No," I said, truthfully.
But that just opened up a conversation about Jesus and I was finally able to share my faith.
And that's when it hit me: not until you let go of your pride and you take up your cross (quite literally, in this instance) will you be able to adequately serve Jesus. And even then, it's not on my time, or on Joe's time that I serve God, but on God's time.
Needless to say, the Lord works in mysterious ways, whether it be through this new Christian named Joe Averageguy, or through a sketch battle between sweaty, cardboard-clad fat guys, it's not up to us. It's up to God. We just work.

*Name altered for the safety of the individual

Life is Good

2009-05-26T09:45:00.000-04:00

Life is pretty much great right now. No joke, I'm feeling pretty energized. It's like one of those day in which you wake up and feel good, like, really good, and then you go through the day and it's pretty much uneventful, but everything just falls into place, and you feel really, really good.
So, that's just about how I feel this day is going to be, but let's see. Now, though, I have to think about the butt-load of projects I have to do over the summer for AP and honors classes next year...
Let's see, I have the French 3 Honors project. I have to research some articles and paraphrase them, or something like that. I also have the AP World History summer reading... I have to read this book about, hey, wadda you know, world history, and do some long report on it. And finally, I have to read like four books for next year's Honors Lit.
I know it seems like a lot, but I figure that if I can just manage my time wisely, then I can finish pretty much one week before schools starts up again. IF I can get rid of this procrastination thing that I have to deal with.
But before I start panicking, I'm going to take it easy: not do anything this week but have fun and lounge around like and old dog. And I'm finna start this week off by going out with friends that I haven't seen in... four days or so.
In any case, I just thought I'd share this little snippet of my life, which is a bit of a change from the posts that I usually put up. But I just thought I'd change it up a little bit today.

God's Chisel

2009-05-23T11:14:00.000-04:00

Some time ago, a friend of mine from church sent me this video called "God's Chisel" via facebook.
After I went and saw it, I started thinking: this is really powerful. It really made me think about my life and how I needed to change. Now, some three weeks later, I found it again on Youtube and I decided to post it here.
It made me think. Hopefully it'll do the same for you.

School's Out

2009-05-22T15:32:00.000-04:00

So, today was the last day of school and all I can say is:
...what's the big deal?
Honestly, I don't see myself afflicted with the "IT'S THE LAST DAY OF SCHOOL!" fever that usually hits me around now. For some reason, it just seems like a regular day to me.
But I guess that this serenity has allowed me to reflect back on my freshman year (which was a lot of fun).
This year, I made new friends, became closer with old ones, and lost some.
I loved, I fought, and I came close to tears.
But, overall, I feel like I've finally found my place. I've come to see how much of a blessing coming to this school has been for me. I feel that God has really opened a lot of doors for me, from FCA leadership, to just forging new relationships that, hopefully, will last.
But now, it just seems like life has stopped being divided into school years, and it has now become just an ongoing journey of growth and relationships.
I am thankful for this year. I am thankful for the blessings, the lessons learned, and everything that has helped me grow.
So yeah, today's the last day of school. But that's about it.

What Are We Showing?

2009-05-19T18:25:00.001-04:00

It is not a secret that, now a days, Christianity is one of the most harshly-criticized religions out there. Some might call this unfair, but, in a sense, I don't blame those who criticize it.
In fact, when we can step out of the boundaries, and look at things from a third-person point of view, then we can begin to understand why Christianity is so criticized.
In some respects, I have found that those who criticize are totally right.
But why does this happen?
In my opinion, it all has to do with the type of Christianity that we're showing. Now, I'm not gonna go off and tell people to conform Christianity to the ways of the world, that's the last thing I want anybody to do.
But seriously, there's just so much that us Christians have to fix. We have to get our acts together, and stop showing this contorted, hateful view of Christianity.
I'm not gonna lie: some of the lessons taught in the Bible are not the most popular views on life right now. So I won't say that, by showing the true, pure Christianity, someone will instantly become popular or well-liked.
And I'm not gonna say that you'll become rich, or that hardships will disappear.
But anyways, back to the original subject:
What type of Christianity are we showing?
If you ask a lot of non-Christians today, they see Christianity as a hateful, absurd cult that is out of touch on today's world views.
The sad thing is, I can totally see where this position comes from. That doesn't mean that I agree with what they say, but I'm just saying, what they're saying is not too far off from what most of us are showing.
Of course, we all know that the problem isn't Christianity, because its foundations are based on the perfect life of Jesus. If that's the case, however, then what is it that's wrong?
To put it simply, I'm gonna quote Gandhi on this one: "I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ."
Christianity isn't what's wrong. It's the type of Christianity that we show.
Today, I notice that a lot of churches, as well as a lot of Christians, are quick to condemn homosexuality, abortion, and many other issues. This is where I get really fired up.
WAS JESUS' ENTIRE MINISTRY NOT BASED ON LOVE AND FORGIVENESS?
How can we claim to follow a belief system based on the teachings of Jesus Christ is we do the opposite of what he came to this earth to teach?
And the thing is, this is something that's very common, much more common than I'd want.
Up until recently, I was one of those very quick to condemn. I focused on the Pentateuch and the Law rather than the Gospel. I focused on the "man shall not lay with a man as one lays with a woman" rather than the "love thy neighbor."
Then I saw it: it's all about balance.
Sure, the Bible teaches us to reject sin, but it also says to treat people lovingly. And that, I think, makes all the difference. That is what makes people who yell at gay people for being gay different from those who treat them lovingly and, for example, invite them to church. That is what makes people who treat women who have gotten an abortion like crap different from those who sit down with them, listen to their problems, and help them get through a tough time in their lives by telling them of Jesus.
So, what type of Christianity are we showing?
Unfortunately, I've come to the point where I can conclude that far too many Christians are displaying anything but.
I've also come to the point where I can conclude that I'm included in that sometimes, and that I have to change. But in the end, it's about letting God work through you, and that way you grow. And the more you grow, the more you show God's love. And the more you show God's love, the more you prove those who criticize Christianity wrong.

Reflection - Failure

2009-05-18T23:30:00.000-04:00

I've been thinking, and I'm pretty messed up. We all are.
But why am I thinking this, at this exact moment?
Some three weeks ago, I set myself to do something. I won't go into much detail because it's kinda personal. Anyways, three weeks ago, that's 21 days ago, I set out to do something. Before the second week was over, I failed the first time. I promised God that I wouldn't fail again. Yesterday, I did. And today, I failed yet again.
That just made me think of how frail I am. It made me think of how, as a human, I try to make promises to God, but, whether I want to or not, I just end up breaking the promises. I don't want to, but, just as Paul said, people tend to do what they don't want to, and what they want to do they don't. This is, of course, in terms of sin.
But really, how frail am I? Sometimes I think that I'm the hot stuff, thinking that I'm strong and can take on a lot of stuff that, really, I can't.
So why do I even try?
It's all about the journey. It's all about growing each day, and reflecting on the victories and the failures. But, more importantly, it's about taking those reflections to heart and using them to grow closer to what God has designed for me to be. The ultimate model is Jesus, and although I can't be Jesus, I can strive to be like him.
So yes, I am frail. But it's not about focusing on that. It's about knowing that God helps to pick you up when you fall, that He helps you along the way, and that every experience is another chance to grow.

Redemption (Going Back in Time)

2009-05-18T23:28:00.000-04:00

This is a lesson that I wrote up for small group.

Discussion Questions:
-Do you ever wish you could go back in time?
-If you could go back in time, what would you do?
-Are there things that you have done in the past that you wish had never happened?
Lesson:
There are many things that we do out of stupidity, greed, anger, etc. Many of these things we wish we had never done, but often times, the memories linger. In those cases, we can find ourselves trapped in a mental cave, of sorts, which we cannot escape. These memories that may plague our dreams, thoughts, etc. exist out of one thing called guilt.
What if I told you that you can go back in time? No need for a time machine, no need for any magical voodoo ritual, or whatever. Would you call me crazy?
Let's face it, guilt has a way of just staying there for much longer than we like to admit. But there is a way to get rid of it.
All you need is Jesus.
Bible Verse #1:
But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness. (1 John 1:9)
Dissection:
3 major components to this verse:
1. Our part -- what we have to do.
"But if we confess our sins to him"
Easy, isn't it? How do we do this? Basically, through prayer. And, think about it, God knows everything. So in telling him, we won't shock him. We won't cause him to shun us. Quite the opposite, in speaking to him, our relationship with him becomes tighter.
2. The payoff -- what Jesus does.
"he is faithful and just to forgive our sins"
Jesus's entire ministry was about this: forgiveness. So, what do we know so far? We tell Jesus something he already knows, and he forgives us.
3. The effect -- what happens to us afterward.
"and to cleanse us from all wickedness."
So, not only has our sin been forgiven, but now we are totally and completely cleansed of that sin. It's as if that sin had never happened.
Bible Verse #2:
Once again you will have compassion on us. You will trample our sins under your feet and throw them into the depths of the ocean! (Micah 7:19)
Dissection:
3 major components to this verse:
1. God's mercy -- God doesn't do to us what we deserve.
"You will trample our sins under your feet"
Technically, we deserve to go to hell. But God loves us, and he has mercy on us, so instead of bringing our sins out and codemning us for them, he tramples them under his feet where he cannot see them.
2. God's grace -- Go gives us more than what we deserve.
"and throw them into the depths of the ocean!"
Not only does God forget our sins, but he totally destroys them, never to be found.
3. God's personality -- what God has in store for us.
"Once again you will have compassion on us."
Why does God do all these things? Because he has compassion.
Conclusion:
When we feel guilty of something, or when we know that we have done something wrong and we get that sick feeling in our gut about it, we often feel like we want to go back in time to undo what was done. Unfortunately, that is physically impossible, and, on a human spectrum, cannot be done. But the evils of our past can be undone through God. This is one of the most essential parts of God's ministry: Through Jesus's death at the cross, our sins are forgiven. By accepting Jesus into our hearts, we become a new man. This means that the sins of the past are washed away.
Bible Verse #3:
This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun! (2 Corinthians 5:17)
Possible Questions:
-If God loves us so much, why does he even allow these bad things to happen to us in the first place? (Romans 8:28)

The Wise Old Man

2009-05-16T23:25:00.001-04:00

(This one's not supposed to have much literary value; I wrote it long ago to get a point across, not to tell a story.)

Long ago, in the lands to the East there lived a wise old man whose name was Kur. The old man was renowned in the land as a man of God, strongly advocating the teachings of Jesus Christ, who had walked on this Earth just a century before.

One day, a young man whose name was Grissul came to the wise old man.

He said to him, “Old man, I have travelled from the West in search of wisdom, and I have heard that you are a wise old man.”

When Grissul had finished speaking, Kur chuckled to himself and he said, “I see that news of my wisdom have travelled much farther than a hard yell away. It is true, man finds wisdom in me. But my wisdom is not my own.”

Once Kur had said this, Grissul was very confused. He did not know if the wise old man was mocking him, or if he was speaking wise words. He said, “I’m afraid I do not understand you, wise old man.”

“My wisdom is not my own, for it has been granted to me by God,” said Kur.

“But how can I know that God exists? Prove to me that God exists and I will listen to your words. Otherwise, I will continue praising my god, Kazael.”

The wise old man saw that the young man’s heart was hard, and that speaking to him would not be easy. He hesitated for a couple of beats, and then he raised his head to speak, “I will prove to you that God exists, after you prove to me that the color red is real.”

“Well, that is very simple,” responded Grissul, “I have a red handkerchief in my back pocket that I can show to you.” The young man reached in his back pocket.

“Wait,” said the old man. “You did not let me finish speaking. Prove to me that the color red exists… without showing me anything red.”

The young man paused.

He thought hard about what the old man had said, pondering to himself how he would prove something so obvious. He said, “Old man, you know that the color red exists. You have surely seen it in your lifetime.”

To this, the old man said, “I am a stubborn old man. Since birth I have refused to see the color red. Never have I seen the color red.”

The young man sat down on the sand. He sat there for nearly a half hour, thinking about how he could prove to the wise old man that the color red existed.

Finally, Grissul said, “Old man, the color red exists all around you. If you refuse to see the color red out of stubbornness, then I cannot prove to you that the color red exists.”

The wise old man chuckled once again. He looked at the young man and said, “That is exactly it. Young man, God exists all around you. If you refuse to see God out of stubbornness, then I cannot prove to you that God exists. For God is almighty and does not need to prove to anyone that He exists. If man does not see the signs of God all around him, then he is too stubborn, and his heart will not acknowledge that God exists. But if man opens his heart to God, then God’s existence will come alive in that man’s life.”

After that, the young man went back to the West, telling all he met on the road what the wise old man had told him.

Live, love the Lord

2009-05-16T23:18:00.001-04:00

(This is another one from facebook)
We will never know exactly for what reason we are here at the exact moment that we are. We will never know because the scope of human knowledge is only limited to philosophy, a pointless escape to try to idealize a world that cannot be. Even if we were able to use the rest of the 85% of our minds, we would not know the full extent of the effect that we have on the rest of the world.
They speak of the Butterfly Effect. The theory that, even the smallest action on our part can influence someone greatly, right now, or in the future. And yet we try to grasp that unavailable knowledge that is out of our reach because of the fact that we are mere humans. We try to touch the intangible and understand the incomprehensible because we are afraid of our own limits.
We do not understand that the tangible World is just a puppet master, one whose strings we can break free from if we can just learn to let go of our stubbornness and grasp the real truth. We even think that Time can solve our problems, but has a man not been able to split Time in half?
What is purpose but a pointless dream, right?
What is life but an endless barrage of the World's attacks on our minds, trying to anesthetize us into not acting? Into remaining on the couch, sitting there as the world around us changes. As the manifestations of the Creator who is God almighty become more and more apparent. We sit there, careless about the effects that our actions have on the world--about the effects of our failure to do something.
But still, we just sit there, eating away at our pizza, smoking away at our pot.
Because we think that, maybe, that stuff will set us free. Maybe, not caring will levitate us from our problems, lifting us into another dimension in which we feel no fear and no hunger and no pain and no anger...
...into a dimension in which we feel nothing but our careless body floating away, leaving our problems and those of the world behind, thinking that maybe, just maybe, this carelessness will somehow set us free.
But how can Earthly things liberate us from the Earth?
They can't.
So why, then, do we even struggle? Why must we keep going?
About two thousand years ago, a man roamed this Earth. His name was Jesus, God incarnate. His coming had been predicted, his divinity assured. He taught about love in a loveless world. He talked to the multitudes, not the rich or those who called themselves "divine", for they did not need him. He talked to the thieves, the prostitutes, the sinners.
He talked about how man can solve his problems through love, not carelessness. He talked about action, not lethargy. His divine words have survived millenia, inspiring many acts of goodwill.
Sure, man is easily confused and is driven to kill, but the love of Jesus Christ, my Lord and Savior is why I keep on living. The fact that he has a purpose for me, and encourages me to live a purpose-driven life is why I keep on living. The hope that comes through his message is why I keep on living. Life is too precious to live without living. So let us live to live in His presence, in His Kingdom of Heaven. Let us live so that we can live with peace in our hearts. Let us not live in lethargy, but in verb. Let us not live in adjective, but in subject. We do not speak of, we are.
Let the children of the future know that we lived here to live. Let them inherit a world full of purpose, where man can take hold of fellow man and walk down a path of gold to a spiritual wholeness.
Let Time be split once again.
Now is the Time of the Lord.
Now is the time to act.
Now is the time to live.

The time is now for a worldwide revival

2009-05-16T23:11:00.001-04:00

The time is now for a worldwide revival. People need to know what is really going on. And I don't mean politics. I mean everything. Everything that is happening, that will happen.
This thought started today, at a church meeting. It started as a mere... idea. A sketch in my mind that really didn't start to take shape until now.
Barely anyone knows what is really going on. Barely anyone understands the tenacity of the situation. The power of this shockwave.
It is time for all of us, if we haven't already, to look at the truth. Sometimes we are stubborn. Stubborn beyond human understanding. Sometimes we are stubborn because the world that we live in has forced us to be so. It has forced us to be this stubborn because everyone always tries to impose their beliefs upon us. And, in the end result, those people are often not helping us, but, quite to the contrary, harming us.
I, for one, am tired of this. I try to make my beliefs as clear to everyone as I can. I have not, to my understanding, tried to impose my beliefs upon others. I have shared about them, but not imposed.
What does this have to do with my initial subject?
It is time to let that stubbornness aside and listen.
Allow me to share what I believe to be the truth.
Jesus Christ died for my sins. When I die I will not just become a pile of dust. I will go to heaven and be at God's presence. His magnificent glory will be a shining light upon my unworthy face, making it perfect. Every fiber of my being. Heaven will be perfect.
Every day, I see and hear my beliefs attacked. They mutter amongst themselves, some are more open. It hurts. Why would anyone criticize a religion that teaches messages oflove, hope, compassion, obedience, camaraderie, mercy, grace, forgiveness?
Now, I know that probably no one will read this. And on the off-chance that anyone does, I will be accused of hipocrisy, of trying to impose my beliefs upon others.
I may probably lose friends. I might even get hate mail. Hate calls. I don't care. I trust in Jesus Christ. I trust that, no matter what earthly hardships He puts me through, He will pull through for me. I know. I am certain that, when I die, I will have my mansion in Heaven. I believe in the true love that could only come from Him.
God is great.
Thank you for reading.
Or not.